But I've noticed this. It seems to be that all the attention is only on the bride, and the groom goes ignored. Why? She's not marrying herself. Shouldn't it be about the BOTH of them equally?
Also, why is so much focus and energy placed on the wedding, on that one day, and not the actual marriage? Is that why so many marriages end in divorce, because too many people place importance on the wrong things?
Because in the past, the wedding WAS all about the bride because it's HER life that is changing.
HER name changed.
SHE moved from her parents' house to his house (both literally and figuratively).
SHE became her husband's property rather than her father's property.
SHE gave up her virginity.
SHE offered a dowry as a gift.
Really, not much changed for the groom after the wedding.
These are just examples, but there are many more traditions with similar origins. The point is that the bride was the one whose life was changing, and so the wedding was more a celebration of her new life (to a greater extent than his new life) as well as the end of a life that she would no longer have (to a greater extent than the end of a life that he would no longer have).
The multi squillion dollar wedding industry has brainwashed us all to believe that we will only get one special day in our lives where we get to be "princess for a day". We have been told to expect the best on our wedding and to kick up a fuss if we don't get it. I feel sorry for brides to be whose lives have been so empty and devoid of special occasions that they have to make friends, families and vendors lives a misery because the napkins don't match the bridesmaids dresses or (God forbid) one of their bridesmaids puts on a couple of pounds. My husband and I planned our wedding together in less than three months, we spent less than 5 thousand dollars and we are no more or less married than some bridezilla who thinks her life will be ruined if she doesn't get her "dream" wedding
Honestly, it seems like that because of television. There are so many shows these days about weddings and wedding products, ie cake, flowers, decor. These shows are aimed towards women, so OF COURSE there's going to be a focus on both the bride and groom.
In reality, I think it truly is about both. I plan on making my wedding about both of us because a wedding is something that is between two people. It's not like the bride is marrying herself.
because the brides parents pay for the entire thing (traditionally) and this has always been this way. think back to the days of dowry's where bridesparents basically paid the new husband to marry her. this is the way it has always been. i would say today men feel more entitled to input on wedding desicions because it is not always just the brides parents paying for it.
Probably because guys for the most part don't care about things like that. Guys don't care what flowers they have at their wedding. That is just one example.
Because of the media. Real life is nothing like Bridezilla's, Say Yes to the Dress, Whose Wedding Is It Anyway, My Fair Wedding, ect.
I have thought the same thing, it's like she is the star for a day
then the marriage begins
The bride has typically always gotten all the attention anyway. In our society, a lot of us have been brought up to DREAM for all our lives of our wedding... because it seems that a major goal in American culture for women (at least, in the past) has been to grow up, marry a nice man, and make babies.
Even though this very misogynistic crap is definitely on the decline, the wedding hubub still exists. I think this is because a lot of grooms really don't care all that much about things like wedding colors and flower centerpieces. They just want to spend the rest of their lives with the woman they love. I've seen more and more women really taking their future hubby's opinions and thoughts to heart with their weddings though, and I think this 'all about the bride' stuff isn't as hardcore as it used to be.
A wedding is really supposed to be about celebrating two people who have found each other and made a promise to one-another to spend the rest of their lives with only each other.
Like it or not, that kind of promise is A BIG DEAL. And even if it is only one day, it's the FIRST DAY of the rest of their lives together. Why shouldn't they be excited and have the party of their dreams? Together, that is. I can't sit here and justify spending 100k on a wedding, but I can understand putting forth the effort to make it beautiful and fun. This is, after all, a celebration.
As for the divorce thing, I don't think it has anything to do with the actual wedding. I think it has to do with people and modern culture. It's becoming increasingly more acceptable to throw away the old model for a new one when things get rough, and that really sucks. I think that a lot of people are also jumping into marriage WAY WAY too quickly because they want the attention and the party so they don't really give too much thought about what happens after.
But the culture of weddings has typically been all about the bride for quite awhile... this isn't a recent development.
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