I feel that if the couple decides to marry then the expense should be theirs not any of the parents.. but if the parents want to help pay for some stuff that is different.. we all have such financial burden these days I would never put the stress of paying for MY wedding on my parents
It used to be the "traditional" way of doing things as the family was giving the bride away to be taken care of by her new husband. Some families still feel that way, some don't.
Nowadays since the bride and groom are often working adults themselves and the bride does not need to be "taken care of", I don't think it's necessary or fair to expect the bride's parents to pay for the wedding. The bride and groom should anticipate paying for it themselves, and consider any financial help offered a gift.
That used to be the tradition, but it also used to be a tradition to give paper as a first anniversary gift. It's becoming much more popular for the couple to foot the bill. Maybe when you do get married, you could ask your and his parents for a little help, but that's up to you. My fiance and I are paying for the bulk of our wedding. My mom offered to buy my dress, and his parents are paying for the DJ and flowers. Everything else is on our own.
We split it down the middle. Each family paid for their own reception (we had one in NY and one in CA), each family paid for there own plane ticket and transportation, for the actual wedding my family paid for the most. We did the flowers, most of the dinner, my dress, and his family just paid for the extra people that they wanted at the dinner.
Talk to your fiance about this, and start working out a budget for your wedding. Now a days the brides family shouldn't be paying for everything.
Yes....some people still believe that. In my opinion, a wedding should be paid for by whomever which to contribute money. So, if the bride's family wants to pay for the whole thing, that's their prerogative. If the groom's family wants to help or pay for the whole thing, then that's what they should do.
Each family needs to sit down and discuss the best way to pay for the wedding. But, I don't believe any one person or family should be stuck with the whole bill, unless they want to.
The bride and groom should pay for the wedding. If either set of parents offers to help, great, but the couple should not ask nor expect their parents to pay. If two people are old enough to get married, they should be old enough to pay for their wedding. If they have no money (i.e. they're still in college, don't have jobs, etc.) they should not be getting married until they are financially able to support themselves.
My family is paying for my wedding but I am doing it on a budget that i created so that my parents wouldn't have some outrageous wedding expenses. And the grooms family is paying for the after rehearsal dinner. My fiancee and I have paid for just a few things for our wedding but mostly my parents are paying for wedding. So yes some people do still believe in it. My brother and his fiancee paid for their wedding themselves though because her family consisted on only her mother and they didn't want to put it all on her. So it can go either way.
My family is footing the $15,000 wedding, and they aren't rich, we just worked about a payment plan with all the big expenses, so they will pay each month about $700 until the day of the wedding, then it will be paid for. It is truely my dream wedding, and the grooms family is poor, and although me and my fiancee live together already, we live paycheck to paycheck and would never be able to afford anything more than a courthouse, so I am so greatful that my parents are doing this for me. It would be my honor to do the same for my daughter one day.
It seems the tradition is falling by the wayside as more and more couples are paying their own way. However, many traditional families still offer to pay for their daughter's wedding. As for it being EXPECTED, I would agree that it is no longer EXPECTED for anyone to pay for anything. When I got engaged in February my mother immediately sat us down and told us that I am her only daughter and it is her honor and privledge to take care of the wedding. She gave us a budget and said we can do whatever we want with it and if we want to add to it we can. My father also offered to pay for certain aspects (my parents are divorced) but we never expected anyone to pay for the wedding. The groom's parents also offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner and the alcohol at the reception because that is the "traditional" groom's-family role. Our traditional families took the traditional route. However, if parents don't have the funds than there is no reason to expect them to pay for anything.
I do think some people still believe in the tradition (our families for example!) but some do not.
A lot of couples have a fierce independence and opinion about this. I see it as a gift (which is what my mother calls it) and I am not about to offend my mother's honor by saying no (we did try, she got pretty offended!). My best friend's mom paid for her wedding in May 2008 and my brother and SiL paid for their own last summer so it depends on the family, their beliefs and their monetary situation.
Weddings seem to be pretty individual occasions and as long as you enjoy yourselves I suppose it doesn't matter who foots the bill, as long as they do it graciously.
I think it's dependant on a lot of factors these days including the relative wealth of the respective families and the bride and groom, whether the bride's parents are still together and/or alive, the age of the couple, whether they've been in relationships before, or even married before, how traditional the families are generally, etc, etc.
Both my Grandparent's paid for their own weddings. My parents paid for their own wedding. So it isn't really tradition in my family for the family to pay. The family usually makes a gift of money to help out but for three generations the families haven't paid for their daughter's wedding.
Mom and Dad have offered to give us some money to put towards what ever we want. I tried to talk them out of it but they insisted. They're not paying for it but their gift is appreciated.
My parents ended up footing the bill. We were going to pay for it ourselves, but I lost my job a couple of months before the wedding so my folks agreed to cover all of the costs. His parents are divorced and one side gave us a little bit of cash towards the wedding while the other side offered to throw a second reception closer to their home.
I used to believe that the bride and groom should pay for the whole thing themselves. But know I have seen situations where bride's parents worked multiple jobs to pay for $30,000 weddings. I think that's really going overboard. My own wedding was far more modest, and I would never offer to pay for anything nearly that extravagant for my own child. But when there are parents out there going to those extremes, it starts to seem unfair for a parent not to offer to help at all. If you believe your kid is marrying the right person at the right time, then it makes sense to help them celebrate it.
Agree with you 100%. My boyfriend and I make more than both of my parents and I would never let them pay for the wedding considering they still live paycheck to paycheck. If they did anything, I'd let them buy my bridesmaid dresses or something small
I am a huge fan of planning and budgeting so I want to be in charge and not have to answer to anyone about my cheap choices!
These days, to expect parents to pay means you're not ready to handle the financial aspects of being married and being self-reliant.
I think a lot of people still believe that, but it depends on the situation. Personally, I think that the bride and groom should plan to pay for their own wedding. Of course if the family or friends offer to help, I wouldn't pass that up. These days many women make more than men, and children often make more than their parents. You need to look at your situation individually, decide on what you want and set a budget. No one wants to start their marriage out being in debt from the ceremony.
My finance and I are paying for our own wedding. We are an older couple and both have good jobs. We just took our time planning and tried to find the best deals that we could for the things we decided were important to include in the celebration.
I think it's up to the family how to handle it. Traditionally, that's how it is handled. My parents are paying for the reception dnner, my dress, invitations, limo. My fiance is paying for the rehearsal dinner, recpetion drinks. I'm paying for the DJ, Photographer and Cake. My fiance and I also bought together the wedding party gifts and favors. . .. so I really just depends on who can afford what.
I personally think the couple getting married should pay for the wedding and family can help out if they so choose to. It bothers me when people complain they want this and that and something else, but parents wont pay for it. well if its your wedding then pay for it yourself! my husband paid for the wedding ceremony and dress and stuff ourselves and my parents decided to do the reception at their home. we didnt ask, they offered and it was basically dont my moms way she she paid for it, not us.
Some do, but then again, some parents can afford it. I would never dream of asking my parents for any help. If they offer sure, but I never expected them to. They have said they will help where they can but it won't be much. I told them something simple like paying for the marriage licence or chair rental or something small like that would be more than I would expect from them.
These days the bride and groom usually pay for at least half and the bride's parents pay the rest. It depends on the age of the bride. A 22 year old would probably need her parents to foot the bill while a 35 year old could probably do it on her own with some help.
I don't believe that. I believe that if the bride and groom are old/mature enough to get married they should be able to pay for it themselves.
However, I feel if anyone offers to help out it should be accepted as a gift (not a requirement) graciously.
That is an oldschool way of thinking. Most people I know these days pay for their own wedding! Or both sets of parents chip in. These are remnants of the days when dowrys were common. Um, women aren't liabilities anymore so that tradition should go out the window. I'm with you!
I dont believe that they *should*. If parents offer to pay or give some money towards the wedding as a gift, thats a different story.
As far as that question.. I saw that too. People will answer anything, especially if they think its what the asker wants to hear.
I think it's different now a days because woman are more independent and couples are living together before they get married. It's not the 1950's anymore. I still say if they can help pay for it they should but not the whole thing.
Any more both sets of parent seem to contribute what they can. But because the Brides parents appear to host the wedding then they would be expected to pay.
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its not really like that these days. sometimes people go 50/50 and sometimes the couple getting married has to pay 4 everything it just depends on the families and wat they decide
No. These days more couples in their mid-twenties at least are getting married, and want to pay for their own weddings, to have things their own way. Just an independence thing.
My parents payed and offered to pay, however me and my husband worked out the best deals we could find so we could save them money.
Only if they can afford to pay for the wedding, then yes they still should.
i sure hope not. my family has almost no money and my boyfriends has a bit more. it would be really bad if that was still expected.
I don't believe in this, but that's my opinion.
I believe people should pay for their own.
We are paying for it out of pocket ourselves..
Yes because the groom is gonna pay the rest of his life.
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