Which church says that he has to walk her? What if he were dead?! MY best friend got married at orthodox catholic wedding and she walked down the aisle with her mom because she wasn't close to her dad. He sat on the ceremony and that was it.
It is a disgrace to the mother and a total charade to the world.
My dad has always been there economically but that is it. He never ask how we are, he doesnt care. He feels he has fullfilled his duties as a dad by paying until we all turned 18. He and I have nothing in common and on my sister's wedding he gave a toast and called the groom "Thomas" he name is Timothy!!.
I am walking down with my mom who has sacrificed everything in her life to give us a better one. She is funny and is always there for me. And if the only way for me to marry was to walk down with my dad while my mom sits on the pews then I would either marry somewhere else or not marry. It is that important to me. Is a matter of principle and I wouldn't want to compromise my principles on such a happy day.
I'm grappling with the same thing myself, and I have decided not to let my dad walk me down the aisle. However, I'll still plan on doing the traditional father-daughter dance with him, since he is my dad and he is trying now to make up for the past, and I feel I should at least let him try. The Catholic church can't force you to walk down with your father, though- what if the father is dead or missing? If the bride wishes to have someone else walk her down, like an uncle, brother, or other family member, she should do so. If she is OK with her dad walking her down the aisle regardless of his past failings as a father, that is her decision to make, not yours.
First of all the Catholic Church does not require the biological father of the bride walk her down the aisle. This is up to the bride.
My daughter just got married in the Catholic Church. Her father has been in her life to some degree, but always a disappointment, never keeping up on child support, breaking promises, he moved several hours away and always had difficulty making time and effort to see his kids.
My daughter thought about asking her grandfather to walk her down the aisle. I left the decision up to her, but advised her that we are called to forgive, to turn the other cheek, and to love as we love ourselves. Her father walking her down the aisle in no way upset me, or took away from all the sacrifices I made over the years to raise her. I have her love and respect, nothing can change that. Her wedding day wasn't about me!
My ex-husband is a loser. No doubt. But using the wedding day of his daughter to get back at him would only inflict more pain. My daughter chose to rise above circumstances and show love. I'm proud of her for it.
well as a practicing Roman Catholic AND a wedding planner/director of catering.... the biological father does NOT have to walk her down the aisle - this is not a tennent of the church nor Church dogma. This might be the "sop" however - women have walked down alone, with a mom, with a sibling, uncle or WHOMEVER. the father of the daughter (if he was Catholic) may have challenges of his own if he divorvced and remairred without an annulment so..... I don't know who's trying to tell you that as a Catholic you have to have him walk you down the aisle but they are wrong. check with your archdiocese if you need furhter back up.
Rebecca's answer above was very well spoken. She basically took the words out of my mouth. My sister and brother (half), their dad left them when they were 9 months and 3 years old for another woman and her son. My mom worked two jobs to support them, and she fought him for child support and he never gave it to them. Instead, he was living in luxury while my mom and siblings were barely making it. Now, he is trying to get back in their life because he doesn't have to take care of them..and my sister is so forgiving. She and her husband eloped and her dad came and walked her down the aisle, yet my mom didn't even attend the wedding. He is still a loser. I would never let my father walk me down the aisle, let alone come to the wedding, if he did that to me. I think it's a slap in the face to the mother who worked so hard to raise her children.
The Catholic church doesn't know the circumstances and shouldn't require "the dad." For all purposes, the dad is absentee. Is there someone else who can do this honor? I'd insist. Even though it may be standard in a particular parish, this can't be an unbreakable Catholic rule. If it is, then they need to stop micro managing everyone's lives.
It's really up to the bride I think. My dad was a total tool when I was growing up, so I decided that instead, my brother will walk me down the aisle. That way my mom isn't pissed that my dad got the "honor", and I'm being walked down the aisle by someone that I am very close to and love very much. Just my 2 cents.
Don't worry about what anyone else wants. What do you want? Its your day and I am sure that your dad will get where you are coming from no matter what you choose. Your wedding only comes once in your life and you should have it the way you have always dreamed. I think that your mom would want you to be happy on your wedding day and if having your dad walk you down the isle makes you happy then go for it. Good luck and congratulations!
No, it's entirely up to the bride and is no one else's business. If the bride feels that she wants her father to escort her, then it's entirely up to her. Catholic church is not going to prohibit a wedding just because the father is not escorting the bride down the aisle.
It's up to the Bride, really.
But I have a very similar situation with my parents and my MOTHER walked me down the aisle at my Catholic wedding. She is the ONLY one who raised me, supported me, encouraged me, picked me up when I fell. And THAT is all that matters.
I think its up to you, forget tradition, thigns are changing!
If he's there for you now (for being a dad, not fiancial support) then its fine if you are ok with it
If you arent close then dont ahve him do it
If your step dad and you are close thats an option
Or your mom, shes been there all along, let her have have the honor!
If the bride wants him to then there is nothing wrong with it, he is her father. IF the bride does not want him to than that is totally up to her.
I was in that situation and I thought that I did not want lies associated with my wedding and so I had my brother walk me down the aisle.
Not really. What matters is your relationship with your father. Is he around now ,do u talk those things. If u are not close to him ,why would u even want him to walk u down the isle . I would chose the closest man to me .Or choose the person whom u thought as ,as a father to u . Good luck
It is both a disgrace and a charade. Dad gave up the right to participate in his daughter's wedding when he abandoned the family.
The Catholic Church does not require the father to escort the bride.
Yeah, Mel's right. My family is Catholic, too and my cousin had her mother give her away as her Dad had died.
But, essentially, it is up to you, as other gals have already said:)
I think this is something you shouldnt be involved in- sounds like your stepping over the line and causing drama.
You arent the bride or the groom so what do you care? its their day and as long as they are happy thats what matters. dont bring drama geesh.
Regardless it's still her dad.
It is more disgraceful for another person to butt in to the decisions made by the bride - whether the decision was made with the input of a church or parent. As for traditional requirements of the Catholic church - there is no such requirement so I am guessing that the bride herself wanted a traditional fatherly-escort as a way of closing the past. Father was absent but then he obviosly DID "find himself". Doesn't matter WHERE he got the money to "really jump in" the past few years. Maybe he had regrets and his grandmother loves him and the granddaughter enough to want to help out while she is alive to see them happy. Sorry but you sound very mean-spirited and unforgiving. I don't know if you are the ex-wife who is still bitter or just a nosy busy-body relative but, either way, you are way out of line. Stop pissing on this bride's precious memories and happy marriage. It's DONE. Get over it.
"A charade to the world" is pretty dramatic. Yeah, I'd be frustrated with the bride if she made this decision, and the mother has a right to feel upset. But if the bride chooses this, there is nothing to be done. No point in griping about it or making the situation worse.
I went to a wedding like this once, where the father was a total loser deadbeat who never knew his daughter (he ran away after getting the mother pregnant and avoided all future contact). Well, the daughter tracked him down about a year before her wedding and he tried to make all nice with her. She had him walk her down the aisle and it infuriated her mother and other relatives.
However, that was her choice. It was actually kind of sad that she so strongly wanted a father figure, to believe that this man wasn't in fact worthless. All this came out of her desire to feel "normal" with a normal dad.
Not long after the wedding, the father showed himself to be the low-life he was. She no longer talks to him.
Anyway, I guess my point is that while I understand why you or the family feel upset, this is her decision and it's probably best to be gracious about it (gracious = simply ignoring it, not bringing it up). Even if you hate the circumstances, her asking him to walk her down the aisle was still a kind thing to do. Might as well not turn that kindness into something ugly and make a weird situation worse.
I think its really an issue the bride has to deal with. Its a very personal, emotional experience and you want someone you really respect and care for walking you down the aisle. When my parents divorced 15 years ago, my father moved out of state with my step mother and supported her two children, while fighting to not have to pay child support for my brother and I.....amongst a million other horrible things he did to us that are too long and too hard to go into. Recently he's slowly come back around as much as my brother and I have let him. I'm getting married in 5 months and he's invited to the wedding but won't be walking me down, I asked my brother to walk me down the day I got engaged. While my father was really hurt when I told him this, he needs to remember that you reap what you sow in life, and that he's a big boy and can take care of his own feelings, he certainly didn't put my feelings as first priority for many many years and still doesn't. Oh well! We get b
ack what we put out in life, its as simple as that. Have your mother walk her down the aisle, there's absolutely nothing disgraceful about that!
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