Yes, talk to her. Very nicely. Your best friend can turn into a monster in an instant; she's showing signs of becoming a first rate bridezilla. DO NOT give her that book. She'll take it the wrong way. The Internet is filled with the proper ettiquette for her; if she really cared, she'd make it her business to learn it on her own. But be prepared to back off and just deal with her craziness if your super-nice efforts don't work. Sometimes the storm comes, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Your job is to support the bride, no matter how horrible her tastes may be. When I had my wedding my maid of honor was my shoulder to cry on. I put together a formal wedding in 3 month's time, including a formal dinner reception. When my family was driving me nuts she was the buffer. That's why I chose her.
If your bride chooses to ignore your advice that's her prerogative. Your job is to to give her your input, keep her calm, and wear the ugly dress. Good luck to both of you.
I can tell you that she will probably be offended if you get her a "bride's etiquette" book. Are the decisions she is making ones that are actually detrimental to her planning, or just ones that you don't agree with? If she wants your help with things such as picking out dresses, I'm sure she will ask for it. Otherwise, I wouldn't put too much pressure on her.
This is her day. Once it is over it is over. Let her do whatever she wants. Smile and be happy for her! Wear the dress. Be happy for her.
You don't have to do this forever. A couple of hours and done.
Brides turn crazy when planning a wedding. Support her decisions and just help in any way you can. Let her family be the ones to piss her off... not you. She will forgive and forget with the family.. but maybe not so much with her BF!
Hope all goes well.
I am planning my wedding now for in 2 mos. I let the bridsmaids pick out there own dresses and own colors. But the dresses she picked are they ones that you just don't like? I have been to a couple of weddings where I didn't like the dresses, but the bride loved them and plus it is her day. Maybe have them all try on the dresses with her so she can see in a mirror what they look like, and have someone take a pic. She may see she doesn't like something about the dresses or colors.
The only ettiquette there is for a situation like this is to not say anything. Let her make her own mistakes. Be there for her and help her, but interfering much more than that will only hurt her feelings. You can offer advice, but if she doesn't take it, that's her mistake to make. Remember that when planning a wedding, it is incredibly difficult to juggle the opinions of your family and friends while still keeping in touch with what you want for yourself and your groom. At times it can be overwhelming and seem like you are only hitting a brick wall with the decisions you make. Perhaps this is the struggle she is facing. If you feel you must sit down and have a discussion with her, make it one that simply says, "I'm here for you. Whatever you need help with, I will help you with." However, in the long run, things like the bridesmaids dresses or the flowers or how she wears her hair are all a matter of opinion, not ettiquette. If you want to get her a book, pair it with a pl
anning book that's a keepsake so it doesn't look like you're trying to say she isn't following wedding ettiquette. There is a series of books I have been using called "Everything Wedding". They have a planning book, an ettiquette book, a Q&A book, and a few others. Get her a couple in the series. They're useful regardless (and quite inexpensive). Try Amazon.com. Good luck. She should be grateful to have such a good friend and MOH.
Yes or suggest you add her to the bridzilla show.
Hi there,
I bought the Miss Manners Guide to Painfully Proper Weddings. It is a fantastic reference. However I do warn to read the foreword. It states if you are the bride to be, stop reading, and give this bk to your wedding party.
I was doing fine....that is, until I read the book. Over the weekend I just had my first wedding nightmare and I partly blame the book for being so thorough (not to mention causing me to think of all new problems that could arise) and myself for being dumb enough to still read it after Miss Manners had been considerate enough to warn me not to read this!
My advice is to buy the book and use it to your advantage in assisting the bride to be. That way, when you at a loss for answers, you can reference this bk. You'll come out looking like a hero!!
As for the dress situation, the poor thing sounds stressed out. By having tried to make everyone happy by asking their input then not taking it she has added to the stress. In the end I suppose its her choice, but I'd talk to her about you being more of her buffer. You can offer to be the person that talks with everyone.....taking those conversations, modify it to what she needs to know.
Hope that helps! Sounds like you are trying to make her happy and keep her sane. Keep doing that & you as well as the bride will be fine.
The bride is the center of the wedding and the maid or matron of honor's position is to be supportive of whatever decisions the bride makes - even if the bride commits an ettiquette faux pas or two ... or three. In truth, I have seen very few flattering bridesmaids' dresses. And I've attended some weddings where the colors were garish by some standards. I even (recently) attended a wedding where the bride arrived on a white Harley instead of the arm of her father. The worst faux pas I can remember was the OUTDOOR wedding in November when the temperatures dropped to forty degrees. The poor bridesmaids in their strapless dresses were shivering so badly they could barely hold onto their bouquets! A wedding reflects the bride's tastes. Sometimes she has good taste. Sometimes she does not. So long as it is a day she remembers fondly, you should butt out of any decisions but those she asks you to make. Sorry, b/c your intentions appear heartfelt. Basically it is her day
and her way, however.
of course you should talk to her, but instead your waisting your time here writting a novel about what she is doing wrong, you need to be telling her this. That is why you are the Maid of honor.
okay i hate to say this but the bride is supposed to be the beauty at her wedding and it is your job to wear what she wants you too. i know as her best friend that you are supposed to help but sometimes it is the best to back off. i know as the maid of honor it is your job to help her on her big day, with getting dressed and jewelry, holding the flowers, bachlorette party, and her dress and straightening the dress while she is at the alter or what ever the preference is. as a hair dresser i try to make the bride look better then her ladies in waiting. so somtimes we down play the other girls to make her look her best. yes i know sad but you are supposed to focus on the bride not the brides maids. if the bride is not taking suggestions the book might be a bad idea. however if she has a wedding planner then maybe they will tell her. or talk to the groom. tell him bridezilla is going to come out. maybe she will listen to him.
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