It's the groom's 1st marriage so I could understand his mother hosting a shower for his side of the family but it seems tacky for the bride's side to invite the same people again to a "Monetary Shower".
Is this appropriate?
the purpose of a shower is to set up the bride and groom with all the household things if they are young and living on their own for the first time. if someone gets divorced and doesn't retain all their shower gifts in the separation, it's not the family's responsibility to buy them all over again the next time that person gets married. I usually boycott showers for 2nd weddings or 2nd babies. I'm happy to get someone a wedding or baby gift, but the whole act of sitting through a shower is an awful way to waste a sunday.
Traditionally a shower is a gathering of some circle of friends who WISH to gather and shower the bride with gifts. A bride might have multiple showers. For example, one given by her bowling league, one by her co-workers, and a third by the sewing circle of the groom's church. It is a fairly recent innovation to have showers in which the host is a sort of "promoter" who seeks to create such a group of generous friends where none exists. To promote such an event for a member of someone else's family might be a generous and kindly undertaking, but to promote such an event for a member (or soon to be member) of ones own family is GREEDY.
I get hate mail on this, but I am correct. Don't take my word for it; look it up in Miss Manners. I suggest that you decline the invitation without mentioning the "seems a bit much" part.
If the mother wants to she can. I would recommend calling it an "afternoon tea" or something similar. (just to celebrate together) NOT a shower though. and do not ask for gifts. If someone wants to that's their prerogative (and some people will). But do not make anyone feel like this is a normal shower where gifts are expected. And a monetary shower? That definitely is tacky! Doesn't matter if it's a 1st, 2nd or 10th marriage...it's tacky.
If you are the bride, make sure everyone knows you had NOTHING to do with this. lol
Oh my God....no, no, no.
First of all....the mother of the bride and/or the mother of the groom should never host a shower, although in some parts of the country this is OK.
And a "monetary shower?" I have never heard of such a thing. Totally tacky and uncalled for.
To answer your question....it is definitely NOT appropriate.
OK, the big red flag here is the term "MONETARY shower" meaning, they are begging for money which is tacky beyond belief so the best thing people can do here is send their regrets and not go and just send a nice card with no money.
I have heard that it is considered poor manners for the mother-of-the-bride to ever host a shower, even for the first wedding, since it is seen as being greedy to solicit gifts for your own child.
Did they really call it a "monetary shower"? That is repulsive.
So does everyone sit around and watch her open envelopes?
No, it's not appropriate. A gazillion times compounded because it's a money shower! Yikes!
For a second marriage it's not really appropriate.
I don't think it's appropriate at all. Maybe just a get together to celebrate the bride and groom both (kinda like a co-ed thing) but not her. It's crass.
yeah sure it is, if you dont want to go just rsvp no and youre all set
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