What should the parents of the bride/groom do if the bride and groom are paying?

I'm getting married in September and I have no idea what my parents and my fiancees parents should do at the wedding. We are paying for the wedding, but we are having it at my dad and stepmom's house. my fiancee's mom asked me the other day what I wanted her to do but I honestly have no idea.

It's really nice of her to ask you!

What is she good at? Could she pull together a scrap book for people to sign as your guest book? Or ask her to get together some old photos of the groom so you can have a photo board?

She might be offended if you don't ask her to help with something after she offered, so give her a special task that could add to the wedding but isn't something vital. Unless you need help with the vital things, then it's really okay to see if she wants to do one of them, but give her two or three things ot choose from.

Example:

I really help getting these invitations addressed, and I really need help making this decoration for the reception. Would you be willing to help with one of these things?

They are guests. They just need to show-up, look pretty/handsome, and give speeches. If you want to take your mom and FML to watch you try on your gown that's great bonding time. If you want to practice dancing with your father, that's great too. Your FH can also practice dancing with his mom. I let my parents pay for our cake because they insisted on paying for something. If you want you mom or FMIL to help you with anything on your long To Do list, you can assign them a few things that are not too difficult. They just want to be helpful because they know planning a wedding is very time-consuming. You're fortunate to get all the help you can.

well me and my fiance are paying for our own wedding because the only wallet that can afford my wife's dream wedding is mine. so what my baby wants, my baby gets. we really dont have our parents paying for much, considering my father lsot his job and her parents don't make much either.

but the insist on paying for part of it becuase they feel it wouldnt be right. so between the four of them they are splitting half the price of the rehersal dinner and i am picking up the other half.

OK - Here is the deal....I am making an assumption that you are not from some traditional religion that demands a dowry or a church, etc......

With that in mind - all bets are off. There is no tradition - just ask them what they want to do...then if they say what do you want me to do...offer them a list of things from super cheap...to paying for a months long honeymoon in Europe!

You only get married once...(ideally) be happy, little things don't matter and pour some booze, dance, and be marry.....That's what it's all about.

When I got married, the VFW was a help and family was great....But mostly it was the DJ and the people who were there for fun.

Oh and please remember you will need someone to host the morning after --

they dont have to do anything really.....

what you could do though is just include them in some of the planning... perhaps get your future mother in law involved in choosing your dress, your shoes.... the rehearsal dinner?

Just anything that you may require help for or want another opinion, keep them feeling included and up to date with your plans, cos really thats all you can do!!

They don't really have to do anything, unless you let them do something since it's also important to them too...

We're paying for our own too, but our parents have helped a lot, and I didn't fight them because it's also an important day, and they help because they care ^_~

they dont have to do anything! If they want to contribute in some way, they can, but if you are paying for absolutely everything, they can put money towards the honeymoon, buy you somehitng for the receptoin.

I would say there is really nothing for them to physically do. My parents are paying for the wedding but other than my Dad walking me down the aisle my parents are not doing anything the day of.

if the pair of you have nothing for them to help you out with (physically or financially) then you can tell them you have everything under control and thank them for their thoughtfulness.

They don't really have to do anything. Hopefully they are there for any concerns or questions you have and make sure to include the moms in dress shopping and cake tasting b/c I think they would enjoy that.

My parents offered to cook the receptions food (they are amazing cooks), and my mother in law is cleaning for us.

Grooms parents- see if they want to do a rehersal dinner

you mom-maybe help with the shower