Maybe you could suggest just LOOKING at dresses -- not even trying them on! She might be more willing to go for that. Get some mimosas at brunch to relax, get your nails done together somewhere so she feels pretty and pampered, and then go look at some dresses. Tell her there's no pressure to actually try them on if she doesn't want to.
If she doesn't like the idea of trying dresses on, she might be more willing to get something custom-made. This is a budget-friendly option, seamstresses can make beautiful creations that cost less simply because they aren't "designer." Plus, she can have it made to flatter her individual figure.
I know I personally dread all things wedding-related. It just seems too stressful and hard. So try to target that stress maybe, and reassure her there's no pressure, and just turn it into a fun girly thing (and tell her over and over again that she doesn't need to compare herself or her wedding to any traditional "princess" ideal -- she can wear a red knee-length dress if she wants, it's her day!).
Just tell her strait out, give her a good pep talk.
If you have to , be rude about it and say " hey allsion, it's about time you start your dress shopping I don't want to hear any more bull about how you think you are going to look in a dress. You will find one you like in time, lets just start trying them on already! unless you want a paper bag to wear, grow up and get a move on this. " At a time like this she takes the " woe is me" to another level by pulling this stunt She's either a bridezilla in the making and demands attention and " ohh you're so beautiful petty compliments" or is really having some issues and is in no state to be getting married and comitting herself. How can she love anyone when she doesn't even love herself?
Start plopping magazine pictures on her desk, checking her size and sending her pictures in her email. This might win you obnoxious MOH of the year award, but she needs a serious kick in the pants, and unfortunately, you signed up for the job.
This is a trick question to answer. I think she needs to look herself in the mirror and really look at how she was blessed with certain body parts. She has to realize her fiance wants her for who she is and loves her the way she is now. I do not believe a person should continue to tell you certain things such "you are beautiful", "you are special" because a person should know they are beautiful and special.
If she cannot change her self image to try on a dress, then she do not need to be married because that insecurity is going to leak into the marriage.
It sounds like the bride really needs to re-evaluate whether she wants to go through the whole wedding thing. If she is having serious issues about this... I would suggest to her that instead of having a big wedding maybe she should skip that and just find a nice outfit and go to the Justice of Peace.
Most of the focus will be on her at a wedding. If she is not motivated to take time to pick out a dress that will compliment her and have enough time to order it... she is setting herself up for her worse fears... not looking like she wants for her wedding day. Maybe being straight with her will nudge her to either make the choice to look for a complimentary styled wedding dress or go elope.
I was excited about dress shopping until I realized things looked awful, LOL. I definitely didn't enjoy showing off to my girls wearing something I could only get the zipper halfway up. So, I have been there!!
I got excited by finding a seamstress and designing my own dress. What's great about that too is that you can get to work on it and also put off the actual trying-on until it's closer to finished. There's no label in it that says that my size is now in the double-digits, and since it fits me, so it's much more flattering than trying on those size-6 samples in the salons. The best part too was exercizing my creative side, and my dress is one-of-a-kind. The price was less than what I saw at the salons - and I just saved money by not needing any alterations.
It wouldn't work for everyone, but that is what it took for me to get excited! :) Good luck!
Maybe you could pick her up one day and just happen to stop by a bridal store. Tell her that you have been looking at dresses for yourself to wear to her wedding and would like to get her opinion. She really needs to start shopping for a dress or at least trying them on and figuring out what she is looking for. Doesnt she know that every woman looks better in their wedding gown.
Tell her she doesnt want to show up to her wedding naked. Then make an appointment somewhere without her knowing and tell her to get into your car and drive her.
I wonder if there is a deeper issue. If she loves her man and wants to be with him, I would think she would be excited. I wonder if she is questioning the marriage and delaying acting upon it? I knew a couple that did NO planning and it was a month till their wedding, and it was because they werent sure what they were doing, and eventually broke up.
Good luck with your girlie.
You can't make her, but I promise there is a style out there that will be gorgeous on her.
Be cautious when you get to a salon. Make sure they know the issue ahead of time and they can pull some styles that are flattering. Ultimately if she waits too long she will have to wear of the rack and that can be a nightmare. If she wants to look her best she better get out there and get a dress!
My wedding is in a week and a half and I ordered my dress the weekend before Memorial Day. I had to pay extra to rush it, but do know that it's an option for your friend to wait until after the holidays if she wants to work on her weight/appearance before ordering.
I'm a size 16/18 normally, stupid dresses run small so I had to order a 22. But even at my size, I was able to try on stuff (not all of it, but a good amount). If she's self-conscious, make sure there's no audience - I went with just my mom because things couldn't zipper up when I tried on. That part was a bit depressing, BUT I did get the first dress I tried on and it's beautiful.
Well simple. Tell her that it takes months for a dress to come in and to get altered. If she doesn't hurry, she will have to find an as is dress. If she goes to a good botique or salon, they will know what will look nice on her body. Good luck!
Also let her know if she doesn't get a wedding dress, she will have to wear whatever on her wedding day.
I go through this when just looking for a normal dress, poor girl, I despise going dress shopping.... start out looking at dresses online...once shes picked out a few she likes, you might have loosened her up enough to take her out shopping, make it a fun day, start off looking at shops maybe trying things on, lunch at somewhere nice, then make more plans after that...another day to look and try on, just make sure the first day is fun...
March is AGES away! 8 months! Maybe go to the gym with her. Exercise will not only improve her appearance but boost her self esteem and confidence. In 6 months she can drop some serious weight if thats the problem. 2 months is plenty of time to find a dress.
Tell her to face it- she'll have to get one sometime or else she can either go in her birthday suit! My goodness! You could also take her to get mani/pedis! That always cheers me up!
Honey, you're an angel to be so concerned about your friend; but I'm afraid only she can feel good about herself and there's nothing you can do about it except be there.
You might also ask her if she is really ready to get married, 'cause picking out the wedding dress is nothing compared to the reality of marriage and all that entails.
If she isn't ready to get married then she absolutely needs to fess up to her fiance and the people who are helping her put on this shindig. Stand by her if she feels bullied or pressured by fiance or family to "go through with things." And it doesn't mean she's callling off the engagement (unless fiance is a creep) it just means she wants a longer engagement than she originally thought.
Oh - hint - if she says "she doesn't know what she wants" then she's not ready for marriage.
Now, dear one, we don't know your friend. Sometimes brides can be spoiled brats and have to be babied all the time because they somehow feel they're entitled to be a pain in the neck because they're brides. Again, I'm sure she's not like that - but if that happens to be the case - if she is fishing for compliments by pouting like a spoiled child, then I would stand firm and remind her that you're her friend and acting like this is no way to treat a loving friend.
But again, have a heart to heart talk with your friend and get to the bottom of what is really bothering her. The "self image" thing is just a cover for a deeper problem than what's been mentioned here.
I understand how she feels. I was very anxious about the dress trying on. I wasnt sure if anything would fit, I was expecting the worse. In order to get through it I took my fiance with me, in case I got upset. I knew he would be the best one to calm me down and make me feel better... However, lots of dresses fit and I had my pick! It was amazing and I was so happy I took him so he could get excited too. He doenst know which one I bought in the end so it's still a surprise.
I would just plan a day for the two of you to have a "fun" day. Schedule an appointment at a bridal salon (I recommend Davids bridal because the have a HUGE selection of dresses, all shapes, sizes and colors) and just to start trying them on. One way to make her more comfortable is to go try on some WITH her. Start trying on your bridesmaid dresses so she doesnt feel so singled out.
After the appointment is over make sure you have lunch or a special treat planned. That way if you need to distract her or cheer her up you can "switch gears."
Also it helped to have a really enthusiastic salesperson helping us. She was to great at fitting my body type, dress after dress looked better and better. She was a lifesaver.
Hopefully she starts to perk up about it after she sees herself in one.
:)
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