How many days/weeks/months do you think that a bride gets to call "hers" where nobody close to her can have a wedding?
I think it would be awful to try to have your wedding the same weekend as another close family member - - so allowing for Friday weddings, I'd give the bride 3 days to call her own.
HOWEVER, I think it is polite to guests (not the bride!) to try to keep weddings at least a month apart so they aren't tapped out on travel or gift expenses because if the close person is a relative you will have alot of the same guests invited to both.
you're right - 6 months is crazy
i'm getting married may 2010 also and a groomsman just got engaged - he's planning around us and not getting married until july even though they wanted may so my fiance will be able to be in his wedding too http://answers.yahoo.com/question/accuse_write?qid=20090617115619AAoZwxq&kid=Nrt8HzblWHNpabt5Ba1Z&s=comm&date=2009-06-24+21%3A57%3A32&.crumb=
The question is worded in a loaded manner. The bride has a bit of a point when it comes to close relatives or close circles of friends where both couples will be inviting many of the same out of town relatives.
Say this bride and her brother have a lot of family out of town, and will be inviting Aunt Jane + other relatives from across the country or from overseas. What if Aunt Jane and the other relatives only have the money and time to go to one wedding? By having 2 weddings close together, she's forced to choose.
And what if the bride is having a destination wedding in Jamaica one week, and her brother or first cousin decides to have a destination wedding in Hawaii the next? So there are circumstances where the bride would be reasonable in wanting others to space out the weddings.
In such a case, I think it would be nice if the second person planning their wedding would give some consideration to these guests and put at least 3 months or 1 season in between weddings.
If the second couple will not be inviting many of the same out of town guests, then I think it's fine for them to have their wedding any time that's not the same weekend.
she's right and wrong
a few weeks for "her" time...but there are other reasons why they should be spread out in a case like this
it's her brother...so they share relatives...these relatives may not be able to afford 2 weddings close together - and if they can they may do less for each one
if people have to travel it's even worse - they're not going to want to head out of town multiple times in a small time period...
i'd give it 3 months to be fair to relatives, but it has nothing to do with her thunder
not to mention the closer relatives that are helping - they're not going to be able to make favors for 2 weddings etc. too close together
in a way this is kinda "her time" 'cause she does have the right to have the help and support of her family & so does her brother - neither will get it if the weddings are too close
it's not a one day thing...there's lots of prep, rehearsals, showers, etc. people have to take every part of it into concideration
I'm really curious why people disagree strongly enough to thumbs down me here
anyone who thinks this is worthy of a thumbs down please e-mail me and explain your reasoning
I think a couple should get married whenever they want and should not base their wedding around anyone. I mean unless they do it on the same day as someone else they know then clearly that's rude but other than that I don't see a problem. As a future bride, I have a few people who are getting married a few weeks before and a few weeks after me and I don't care in the slightest. Then again I'm also a bride who doesn't like all the attention so I guess if she's selfish you should give her "her time."
The wedding day is the bride and groom's day day. All other days are available for whoever else is having a wedding. 2 people I know who are friends had their weddings 1 day apart. One was on Saturday, the other one was the next day. I can understand someone being upset about it, because I would want people to remember mine for awhile, but if it's a few weeks before or after, then it's really no big deal. There's not really anything she can do about it anyway.
Personally, I think the wedding day is just that...a DAY.
However, my FIL's sister got engaged and married within the year it took my FIL to propose and plan his wedding to my MIL. My FIL has never forgiven his sister for that, and my husband feels the same. He wouldn't propose to me after my sister got engaged, though he was planning on it beforehand.
My cousin got married the week after I did. I was kind of upset that I'd miss the wedding because I knew it would be a blast. Then again, I was only missing it because I was on my honeymoon and that was a blast! :-)
I can see where it would be annoying and frustrating if you were planning and doing stuff for your wedding and a sibling proposed and planned their wedding before yours. A lot of the same people are going to go to both, so they may not "care" as much for the second as they did for the first. So I would kind of understand. At the same time, I didn't care. Had the time of my life at my wedding and found out later that my cousin used the same colors and the same flowers, as I did. Oh, well. It was in no way copying or stealing from me.
She gets ONE day, the wedding day. Granted, it would be inconvenient and maybe thoughtless for her brother to get married, say, within 2 weeks of her (just for logistical purposes) but other than that he is free to do what he wants. She sounds like a brat. I know a bride just like that and it is quite disappointing, especially since she seemed totally normal before the bride insanity hit her.
i'm in the same boat. my fiance's brother and his girlfriend got engaged in Aug and my fiance and I got engaged in Dec. They were talking about waiting a few years, 5-6 before setting a date and getting married. We decided in Jan we would get married June 2010 and started planning the wedding. Well, a few in April the announced they would be getting married April or May 2010 in MEXICO!! I was not as upset about the setting the date a month before ours but that fact they expect us to pay over $3,000 just to attend their wedding a month before we are spending thousands of dollars on our wedding is RUDE! It's because they are a few years older than us they think they need to wed first, even if we have been together 5+ years longer then them. I'm not thrilled about they wanted to do it that soon, especially since they said they would wait a few years. i feel like they are doing it to spite us. i think respectfully they should have waited about 4-6 months because it is also hard o
n the family with them being brothers. but if a friend was wanting their wedding date near ours, i think around a month is a better. a month after, because that way you are not jumping in front and making it all about you first.
Sadly I totally understand your friend! I got engaged in Nov. so excited shared all the news with my family set the wedding date for Oct. then Dec. my sister announces she is getting married too! .....in 4 months. I would come up with ideas for my wedding and she would steal them *colors, dress style, decor....you name it she took the idea. So I feel that she totally stole my thunder. Oh not to mention she just got married 3 years ago and that didn't work out so they divorced less than a year ago and now she is married again.
GGGRRRRR So I feel the thunder get stollen if they are planning their wedding at the same time as yours.
Her poor future sister in law! The other bride is probably thinking, "what's the big deal? It's my thunder too!"
Unless it's in the same weekend, she really needs to relax and not be bridezilla. People have reasons for picking the date they do and they can't always change it (I.e. School, paid leave, babies due, deportation, deployment, ect)
just the wedding day. she gets one day. think of it this way, people all over the world are getting married every single day of the year. on this girl's wedding day, thousands of marriages will be performed all over the world. so it's not really her day anyway.
None, anyone who thinks like that is self-centered. The wedding is about her relationship with the husband.
The only thing I would think is that if its in the same family it would be expensive for other family members
So long as it isn't the week before (I imagine that will be a busy crazy time for me), the same day, or the week after (I'll be on my honeymoon), I wouldn't care when my brother decided to get married. It doesn't make my marriage any less special.
I think if someone around her plans something in their life unintentionally then her "time" doesn't exist. The whole world cannot revolve around one person. Everyone had to do things when they are right for them not based on someone else. Tell her to get over herself and stop being so selfish!
I think that is crazy. She should be happy for her brother. America is still a semi-free country, people can get married anytime the choose. She should quit being jealous and get over it.
From the start of the ceremony to end of reception.
Heck, it's not even "her day"... it's "their day" (the bride AND grooms).
To be fair, I'd extend it to 24hrs.
1 - the wedding day. The point of a wedding is getting married, not being the star of your own little show.
She should stop looking for the negative and find the positive. It could be super fun and helpful to plan a wedding side by side.
It should be ok.Everyone deserves there day in the sun.
Remind her that if she loves her brother she should let him be happy.
:)
One day.
Someone should let your friend know that the world does not revolve around her wedding.
1 day
They should stop whining and shut their dirty mouths.
4 to 6 weeks.
She gets one day that belongs to her..her wedding day.
THAT'S IT.
2 1/2 weeks before-5 1/2 weeks after
weel it takes a year to plan a wedding and another year of being a newlywed so id say about 2 years maybe only 18 months
like around 2 months before/after
4-6 months
i've never heard that but it makes sence! i would say within 3-4 months??? thats when i wouldnt care anymore
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