Tips For the Brother of the Bride

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If you are the brother of the bride, you may not think that you have much of a role to play in the upcoming wedding, but that is not true. There are plenty of ways in which you can participate and share in the excitement. Here are some tips on how to be a great brother of the bride.

A lot of guys are not really that "into" weddings, and unless it is your wedding, that is just fine. You may think that your sister and mom are going absolutely crazy over this whole wedding thing (especially if you are the younger, unmarried brother of the bride), and it may even be true. However, you will do yourself no favors by sharing that opinion with your sister, for whom the wedding is probably one of the biggest days of her entire life. A better tactic when your sister starts going on about the wedding is just to smile and nod while she talks; she may not even notice that your eyes have glazed over!

Most brothers of the bride will be asked to participate in the ceremony in some way. You will probably be asked to serve as a groomsman, and your duties will be much the same as those of the rest of the groomsmen. You get to help with the bachelor party, be fitted for a tuxedo, receive one of the groomsmen gifts, attend the rehearsal and dinner afterwards, and stand up with the groom during the marriage service. Single brothers will be pleased to hear that they are also responsible for escorting a pretty young bridesmaid up the aisle during the recessional.

As a member of the family, it would be nice for the bride's brother to go above and beyond what the other groomsmen may offer to do. It is a nice gesture towards the groom, and a way to help welcome him into your family. For instance, you might assist the groom in finding the perfect groomsmen gifts, as well as a wedding day gift for his sister (usually jewelry). You can also help with planning the bachelor party or guys' weekend away. And finally, the bride's brother can give the groom the inside scoop on the rest of the members of his family.

Speaking of the bachelor party, even though you are the bride's brother, you are there as a friend to the groom, so it is your duty to keep your lips sealed about what went on, unless something terribly inappropriate took place. You wouldn't be the first brother of the bride to be besieged by questions from a curious sister, but really all you should tell her is that everyone had a great time and that it was good clean fun. This will help to put her mind at ease, while also showing the groom that his future brother-in-law is a real buddy, not a spy for his sister.

At times the brother of the bride might end up taking on a more important role in the wedding. If their father has passed away, it would be very appropriate and touching for the bride's brother to be the one to walk her down the aisle and give her away. It is also very nice if you give a brief toast at the reception. Keep it brief and congratulatory; you surely know all sorts of embarrassing stories about your sister, but the wedding toast is not the time to bring them up!

With a little more involvement, the bride's brother might actually find that her wedding can be a good time. You also have the pleasure of gaining a new brother, and if you are single, meeting some attractive women (weddings often breed more weddings, you know). In the end, you might just come to discover that being the brother of the bride is not so bad after all.

Guy has been writing about society and weddings for a long time. If you have a topic you would like to know about. Let us know at SilverlandJewelry.com. Thank your attendants for being in your wedding with handsome groomsmen gifts.

Wedding Customs Throughout History From Tossing Of The Bride Her Bouquet To Honeymoons

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The tradition of tossing the Bride's bouquet

The significance, as everyone knows, is that the one who catches it will be the next to marry! Originally, it was not a bouquet but a garter that was tossed. This custom of tossing the garter originated in 14th century France. However even when the bride left it dangling around her ankle in order to make the snatching easy, she was considerably mauled. For a time a stocking was tossed, but its removal was neither easy nor graceful. Finally some bride, whose identity has been lost to us, thought of tossing her bouquet and this custom has been followed ever since. Even now, however, some grooms like to follow the old garter tossing custom so that the ushers as well as the bridesmaids may know who among them will be next to marry.

The origin of the wedding reception and wedding refreshments

Marriage feasts have been in existence nearly as long as marriage ceremonies. The early Greeks had a feast at the end of the wedding procession when the bride was conducted to her new home at night. Although usually the Greek custom was not to include women at their banquets, they were invited to wedding feasts.

The wedding cake

This was always an important part of any wedding feast. Where or when it first originated cannot be told it is so ancient a custom. Among certain American Indian tribes, and among the Fiji Islanders, a bride offered her husband a cake of meal. The Romans broke a cake made of salted meal over the bride's head as a symbol of abundance. Many peoples of various nations customarily dropped wheat, flour or cake upon the bride's head, then ate these offerings for good luck. The early Britons baked large baskets of small dry crackers for weddings, and every guest took one home thus the tradition of taking wedding cake home to "dream on." The small cakes gradually increased in size and richness, and, so the story is told, a French chef in London finally had the idea of icing the mass of cakes together the first English-French wedding cake. During the reign of Charles II in England, the elaborate, highly ornamented wedding cakes as we know them first came into being.

Throwing rice, old shoes and other things

The rice-throwing is closely related to the wedding cake itself in fact throwing grain preceded the baking of cakes and the cake developed from that earlier practice. The throwing of grain seemed to involve two symbols, good luck and fertility or abundance.

Among the ancient Assyrians and Jews, when a bargain was made, a man gave his sandal as an indication of good faith. A shoe was the symbol of authority. When the Anglo-Saxons hurled a shoe, it indicated that authority had been transferred. Some authorities believe that the throwing of a shoe can be traced back to the missiles which the bride's father hurled at the robber caveman.

Seating arrangements at weddings

It is said that the practice of seating the groom's family and friends on the right and the bride's on the left derived from the custom of seating honoured guests on the right of the host. On the wedding day, the bride's parents are hosts and the groom's are the honoured guests.

The Bachelor Dinner

This appears to have had its source in Sparta. A Spartan groom always invited his close friends to a supper on the eve of his wedding. The custom is very old and many believe it originated simultaneously in many different lands.

Engraved invitations or announcements

Many centuries ago the monastic schools kept marriage books for royalty. These records were made in the very beautiful handwriting of the monks. Later, formal invitations were issued by Royalty in this handwriting, referred to as script. In 1620 copper plate engraving of script writing was first achieved and gradually the custom evolved of engraved rather than hand written invitations to weddings and other formal affairs.

The Honeymoon

This tradition is as old as from the caveman era, once the man had abducted his bride, he kept her carefully hidden until her father's tribesmen gave up the pursuit and permitted their tempers to cool. Among certain northern European peoples in early centuries, a newly married couple drank a wine made of mead and honey, known as metheglin, for a month after their marriage. A month was then a "moon," and therefore the month during which the wine was drunk became known as the honeymoon. Among certain peoples, seclusion from the world after the marriage ceremony was definitely part of the marriage rites.
Today all couples who can afford it travel to their honeymoon straight after the wedding party has finished.

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Catch that Bouquet!

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Throwing the bride's bouquet, as well as catching the bride's bouquet, has its moments.

Erratic brides have been known to underestimate their throwing capabilities and throwing the bouquet so far that no self-respecting person would bother to run for it. Or, as in playing squash, in the nervousness of the moment, bouquets have been known to be thrown at walls, windows, ceilings, and most disastrously, into overhead ceiling fans.

On the side of the catchers, there have been moments where catching the bouquet became so violent, that a referee had to be called in to separate the combatants. As embarrassing as that might have been, there have also been those weddings where self-assertive women refused to play this silly old-fashioned game where women were thought to be dying to catch the bouquet so that they would be the next in line to get married.

Ha! They weren't that desperate!

So, perhaps, before the bride decides to enliven the wedding by tossing the bouquet among the unwed females, she should count up just how many unwed single females she's inviting, and just how many are actively looking for life-long partners. And, of course, and most importantly, she should get in some throwing practice to ensure the accuracy of the landing.

Having said that, why do brides bother with this bit of tom foolery? And is there any truth that whoever catches the bouquet will be the next to wed?

As far as throwing the bouquet is concerned it's all about the lucky wedding couple sharing their good fortune, the flowers being yet one more symbol of it. In this spirit, some brides compose a bouquet which consists of dozens of minuscule bouquets. When she is about to throw it, the bride unties the ribbon which holds it in place, and literally showers guests with minute bouquets and good fortune.

As for weddings, have you noticed how when one of your friends gets married, not long after another follows suit?

Could it be that by catching a bouquet you will become the next bride? Actually, that's a bit psychology in the making. In this part of the wedding, the female who is actively searching for a partner, has the opportunity to make herself visible to a prospective husband. If she is truly serious, she should make that opportunity count. Like the thrower, she should practice graceful and nimble leaps to make herself memorable to all those young bucks watching. If she can continue to hold their interest after the catch, so much the better.

Never forget, would be brides, weddings are catching!

Vlady Peters is an Australian Civil Marriage Celebrant authorised to perform marriages in Australia. She also perform general ceremonies such as Baby Naming, Renewal of Vows and Commitment Ceremonies. To learn more about her as a celebrant and an author visit vlady at http://www.weddings-celebrant.com

How to Choose a Unique Bridal Bouquet For the Bride

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If you go to your wedding florist, they will usually show you a catalogue for some ideas. There are so many types of flowers and bouquet styles to select from, so how do you know what you should look out for?

Asking yourself these few questions may help though!

What's your body size?

For my wedding, I chose a posy of red and cream roses adorned with white feathers. I am considered small and petite, so a round posy bouquet suits me. Actually my first choice was hand-tied calla lilies, but because of my height, I had to give up the idea because they looked pretty odd on me! I realized a round bouquet looks more balanced for my body size and it actually complements my look instead. Remember, your first choice of bouquet may not be the best choice, it makes sense to get something which will look good on you instead. With all eyes on you at your wedding, it's a costly mistake to make if everything else is perfect except your bouquet!

However if you are tall and lanky, a cascading type of bouquet or a hand-tied one will suit you better. Do not go for the round one as it will make you look even taller. With heels that pile on the height on the actual day, it may make you look like you tower over your hubby, especially if he is of about the same height as you.

If you are slightly on the heavy side, a cascading one will help you look slimmer on your wedding day. You will be surprised that the unique shape of the bouquet being round at the top and ending with a pointy bottom does wonders for your body shape!

Is there any colour theme for your wedding?

Choose the type of flowers that will complement your colour theme, especially the colour of your wedding gown. For brides who are wearing ivory or white gowns, it is a lot easier as most flowers will match. However, if you are wearing bolder colours like purple or pink, flowers that are of the same colour group but in different shades will look pleasant to the eye. Always remember, the rule of the thumb is to match. The bouquet should not look like a sore thumb against your wedding dress and get your guests talking for the wrong reasons.

When is your wedding held?

Certain types of flowers are seasonal, so depending on the month your wedding is, you may not be able to get them even if its your favourite bloom! Some typical all year round flowers are roses, lilies, gardenias, freesias, gerbera daisies, etc. If you wish to choose flowers like hydrangeas, tulips, they may not be available at your free will, so ask your florist for advice and plan ahead in advance!

Angela is an active love coach in her community and a writer for a wedding blog.

Are you planning for your own wedding? Don't miss the other tips she shares about wedding planning at http://myfortunekitty.com (look under "Wedding Preparations & Resources" category)!