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If you are going to be a bridesmaid or groomsman at a Ukrainian wedding, I think this story will help you. No one does a rehearsal of a wedding ceremony in the Ukraine, so you had better prepare in advance. Therefore, I want to explain some things about the role of the bridesmaids and groomsmen at a wedding in the Ukraine, especially in Western Ukraine, where I originally come from.
I was a bridesmaid so many times at weddings in the Ukraine that my friends started to joke that I am a professional bridesmaid. Then after a number of prayers "Oh God, send me a husband" I was blessed to have my Big Day and my own bridesmaids.
Usually a Ukrainian bride or groom will ask their closest relatives, such as a sister, brother, cousin, or even a close friend, to be the bridesmaids or groomsmen. The important thing is that the bridesmaids and groomsmen at a wedding in the Ukraine are required to have never been married before. At the time of my wedding, all my relatives were already married but, thank God, I still had two girlfriends who had never married and they agreed to become my bridesmaids.
Speaking about quantity of bridesmaids and groomsmen at a Ukrainian wedding, the most popular number is two of each. In some regions a bride will choose four, six or even eight bridesmaids. At one wedding I was a bridesmaid with four others.
Bridesmaids get a special rank chosen by the Ukrainian bride and groomsmen get a special rank chosen by the groom as well. The ranks are to be first bridesmaid (like a maid of honor) and second bridesmaid; for the groomsmen the ranks are to be first groomsman (like a best man) and second groomsman.
The first bridesmaid and first groomsman perform the most important customs and traditions at a Ukrainian wedding, such as unfolding the ceremonial towel in front of the bride and groom at the church or in a marriage office in the case of a civil marriage. Another custom is the holding of the crowns over the heads of the bride and groom at the church. Most of the traditions at a Ukrainian wedding require the participation of both bridesmaids and groomsmen. They also help the bride and groom with most of the preparations for the wedding. Bridesmaids will purchase corsages for themselves, groomsmen and all the guests but not for the bride and groom. Also the bridesmaids will spend the night with the bride before the wedding. They prepare the bride's wedding attire and then they have a girls' party. The groom and groomsmen have their boys' party too, on the same evening, which is the last bachelors' party for the groom.
Oh, I almost forgot one more important detail about being a Ukrainian bridesmaid or groomsman. What should be worn? Is it required that identical dresses be worn by all the bridesmaids and the same suits worn by the groomsmen? No, they can wear what they wish, preferably a nice gown by the bridesmaid and an elegant suit by the man. If you will be a bridesmaid or groomsman at a traditional Ukrainian wedding, you are expected wear an embroidered shirt which can be purchased at any local market in Ukraine. Also the bridesmaids in Ukraine do not have bouquets as they do in North America or Western Europe, but here a corsage is enough.
Well, now is the Big Day! I have to explain that Ukrainians do not have the tradition of the father giving away the bride, but instead they have many different customs and traditions before the marriage ceremony on the day of the wedding. First of all, the groom along with the groomsmen and the groom's guests, come to the bride's home "to buy the bride" from the bride's guests. This humorous custom takes place near the entrance of the home. When the "purchase" is done, the bride's guests allow to the groom's guests to enter the bride's home.
Next, the bride and bridesmaids bow three times to the groom and groomsmen and the groom and groomsmen perform the same ritual. Then the bride gives a corsage to the groom and the bridesmaids give corsages to the groomsmen. Each groomsman is supposed "to pay" his bridesmaid for the corsage; not in money though, but by some small gift such as a box of chocolates.
After the parents' blessing at the bride's home (another tradition!), the bride and groom are ready to go to the place of the marriage ceremony. If the church is close to the bride's home, the bride and groom and all the guests walk to the place of the ceremony in a procession. The two groomsmen walk with the bride and the two bridesmaids walk with the groom. If the church is too far from the bride's home, the bride and groom will be taken by separate cars as tradition does not allow them to be together on the way to the place of ceremony. The leading car of the wedding procession carries the bride and groomsmen and the second car carries the groom and bridesmaids.
At the entrance to the church, a priest greets the wedding procession and then walks the bride and groom down the aisle. The bridesmaids, groomsmen and all of the guests follow them.
The ceremony now begins. The first bridesmaid and first groomsman will now perform their main rituals. First is the unfolding of an embroidered ceremonial towel onto the floor in front of the bride and groom. The bride and groom then step on the towel. It is a sign, it is said: "Whoever steps on the towel first, will be the boss of the family."
Another very important mission of the first bridesmaid and groomsman is to hold crowns over the heads of the bride and groom. It is a little difficult, because they have to hold the crowns for a long time, for about 20 minutes or so depending on the length of the church service. They can change their hands but must not allow the crowns to fall down! It would mean bad luck for newlyweds.
In some churches, however, the bridesmaid and groomsman do not hold the crowns because the priest puts the crowns directly on the heads of the bride and groom as was done at my own wedding. Then the bride and groom must be very careful not to have their crowns fall off. My husband and I did very well, our crowns stayed on!
When the church ceremony is over, the newlyweds can finally walk together to the reception or they can travel in the same car, if the distance is too far to walk. Now it seems that the job of the bridesmaids and groomsmen is over, but not at a Ukrainian wedding The bridesmaids and groomsmen have to participate in a few more customs at the reception, which is another exciting story.
About the author.
Mariya Klachynska is a freelance journalist. She worked for the local Ukrainian newspapers and online news agencies for many years. Her hobby is matchmaking With help of online dating agency Mariya has found husbands for two her friends-journalists. Mariya is married, she met her husband in Internet too.
