What Bridesmaids and Groomsmen Are Suppose to Do at a Ukrainian Wedding?

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If you are going to be a bridesmaid or groomsman at a Ukrainian wedding, I think this story will help you. No one does a rehearsal of a wedding ceremony in the Ukraine, so you had better prepare in advance. Therefore, I want to explain some things about the role of the bridesmaids and groomsmen at a wedding in the Ukraine, especially in Western Ukraine, where I originally come from.

I was a bridesmaid so many times at weddings in the Ukraine that my friends started to joke that I am a professional bridesmaid. Then after a number of prayers "Oh God, send me a husband" I was blessed to have my Big Day and my own bridesmaids.

Usually a Ukrainian bride or groom will ask their closest relatives, such as a sister, brother, cousin, or even a close friend, to be the bridesmaids or groomsmen. The important thing is that the bridesmaids and groomsmen at a wedding in the Ukraine are required to have never been married before. At the time of my wedding, all my relatives were already married but, thank God, I still had two girlfriends who had never married and they agreed to become my bridesmaids.

Speaking about quantity of bridesmaids and groomsmen at a Ukrainian wedding, the most popular number is two of each. In some regions a bride will choose four, six or even eight bridesmaids. At one wedding I was a bridesmaid with four others.

Bridesmaids get a special rank chosen by the Ukrainian bride and groomsmen get a special rank chosen by the groom as well. The ranks are to be first bridesmaid (like a maid of honor) and second bridesmaid; for the groomsmen the ranks are to be first groomsman (like a best man) and second groomsman.

The first bridesmaid and first groomsman perform the most important customs and traditions at a Ukrainian wedding, such as unfolding the ceremonial towel in front of the bride and groom at the church or in a marriage office in the case of a civil marriage. Another custom is the holding of the crowns over the heads of the bride and groom at the church. Most of the traditions at a Ukrainian wedding require the participation of both bridesmaids and groomsmen. They also help the bride and groom with most of the preparations for the wedding. Bridesmaids will purchase corsages for themselves, groomsmen and all the guests but not for the bride and groom. Also the bridesmaids will spend the night with the bride before the wedding. They prepare the bride's wedding attire and then they have a girls' party. The groom and groomsmen have their boys' party too, on the same evening, which is the last bachelors' party for the groom.

Oh, I almost forgot one more important detail about being a Ukrainian bridesmaid or groomsman. What should be worn? Is it required that identical dresses be worn by all the bridesmaids and the same suits worn by the groomsmen? No, they can wear what they wish, preferably a nice gown by the bridesmaid and an elegant suit by the man. If you will be a bridesmaid or groomsman at a traditional Ukrainian wedding, you are expected wear an embroidered shirt which can be purchased at any local market in Ukraine. Also the bridesmaids in Ukraine do not have bouquets as they do in North America or Western Europe, but here a corsage is enough.

Well, now is the Big Day! I have to explain that Ukrainians do not have the tradition of the father giving away the bride, but instead they have many different customs and traditions before the marriage ceremony on the day of the wedding. First of all, the groom along with the groomsmen and the groom's guests, come to the bride's home "to buy the bride" from the bride's guests. This humorous custom takes place near the entrance of the home. When the "purchase" is done, the bride's guests allow to the groom's guests to enter the bride's home.

Next, the bride and bridesmaids bow three times to the groom and groomsmen and the groom and groomsmen perform the same ritual. Then the bride gives a corsage to the groom and the bridesmaids give corsages to the groomsmen. Each groomsman is supposed "to pay" his bridesmaid for the corsage; not in money though, but by some small gift such as a box of chocolates.

After the parents' blessing at the bride's home (another tradition!), the bride and groom are ready to go to the place of the marriage ceremony. If the church is close to the bride's home, the bride and groom and all the guests walk to the place of the ceremony in a procession. The two groomsmen walk with the bride and the two bridesmaids walk with the groom. If the church is too far from the bride's home, the bride and groom will be taken by separate cars as tradition does not allow them to be together on the way to the place of ceremony. The leading car of the wedding procession carries the bride and groomsmen and the second car carries the groom and bridesmaids.

At the entrance to the church, a priest greets the wedding procession and then walks the bride and groom down the aisle. The bridesmaids, groomsmen and all of the guests follow them.

The ceremony now begins. The first bridesmaid and first groomsman will now perform their main rituals. First is the unfolding of an embroidered ceremonial towel onto the floor in front of the bride and groom. The bride and groom then step on the towel. It is a sign, it is said: "Whoever steps on the towel first, will be the boss of the family."

Another very important mission of the first bridesmaid and groomsman is to hold crowns over the heads of the bride and groom. It is a little difficult, because they have to hold the crowns for a long time, for about 20 minutes or so depending on the length of the church service. They can change their hands but must not allow the crowns to fall down! It would mean bad luck for newlyweds.

In some churches, however, the bridesmaid and groomsman do not hold the crowns because the priest puts the crowns directly on the heads of the bride and groom as was done at my own wedding. Then the bride and groom must be very careful not to have their crowns fall off. My husband and I did very well, our crowns stayed on!

When the church ceremony is over, the newlyweds can finally walk together to the reception or they can travel in the same car, if the distance is too far to walk. Now it seems that the job of the bridesmaids and groomsmen is over, but not at a Ukrainian wedding The bridesmaids and groomsmen have to participate in a few more customs at the reception, which is another exciting story.

About the author.

Mariya Klachynska is a freelance journalist. She worked for the local Ukrainian newspapers and online news agencies for many years. Her hobby is matchmaking With help of online dating agency Mariya has found husbands for two her friends-journalists. Mariya is married, she met her husband in Internet too.

Bride's Survival Guide - Working With Bridesmaids And Groomsmen

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The bridesmaids and the maid of honor are key players in your wedding that is why you pay them special attention. We would like to offer you some tips with working bridesmaids and the maid of honor. Your selected group of women is normally friends and family. You know their preferences and know how to make it work. Never the less there can still be tensions as the big day approaches and your expectations of them may change. Try your best to keep everyone at ease. Help with decision making so that the wedding will run smoothly.

A few good tips with working with the bridesmaids and maid of honor will help you to maintain a well-planned wedding. The bridesmaids and the maid of honor should be included in decision making such as your floral arrangements or clothing. Their perspective on colors may help you to finalize things more quickly. The bridesmaids and your maid of honor can even help you select items for your menu for the guests. Many times, they have knowledge from previous weddings or perhaps just planning things on their own might be of use. It is not a surprise that sometimes friends and family are more in tuned with what you really want than a wedding planner who possibly hasn't a clue about your likes and dislikes only about format and style.

A wedding planner is still a good person to have so that things properly are completed and so that you don't drive your bridesmaids crazy. Remember your bridesmaids should stay your friend's after your day is over. The use of both the wedding planner and the bridesmaids and maid of honor can be very helpful. Make the event as pleasant as possible when going out to select have coffee afterwards or an ice cream. The day of the wedding set up a hair appointment, nails, and make up at your favorite boutique for everyone. Normally the boutique owner will add coffee and tea for your guests. This makes the event even more meaningful.

The bridesmaids and maid of honor may seem easy to please since you have always known them and had fun together before. Now you are thinking I need some tips with working with the groomsmen. Normally about the only thing you need to do is to make sure that they go to the Tuxedo Shop in plenty of time to get the proper fitting clothes. You might be surprised to know that the groomsmen have a tendency to take over matters themselves. Usually the groomsmen are the best friend of the groom and know him very well. The groomsmen usually plan and execute a bachelor party. The groom will inform the groomsmen where to go for their tuxedo and they usually go on their own time. The night of practice, a dinner normally follows afterwards and this is the time to present special presents to both the bridesmaid and groomsmen. Taking care of the groomsmen you will find is not nearly as hard as the bridesmaids because the girls need more things to make a beautiful wedding than does the men.

Ashley Rader is the owner of Moments of Elegance, an online wedding boutique specializing in wedding party gifts including bridesmaid gifts and groomsman gifts that will say thank you with style and will truly make your event unforgettable. Event planners can receive 10% off their order with coupon code: saveonfavors10.

Wedding Etiquette for the Best Man, Groomsmen, and Ushers

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Undoubtedly, the groom will want to choose a few good men—often his
brothers, college buddies, and best friends—to carry out all of the
responsibilities traditionally assigned to the guys. Once your fiancé has
picked his team, he’ll have to give them a few pointers on just what their
roles and responsibilities are, so here’s the lowdown.

A Friend in Deed

Let’s start with the best man (the head groomsman) since his role is so
crucial. The best man is an all-purpose kind of guy—friend, organizer,
coach, confidant—with a lot of responsibilities.

In general, he must make sure that the wedding goes off without a hitch.
When the groom feels stressed, he is ready with encouragement and a
good sense of humor.

Traditionally, it is the best man who is in charge of organizing the
bachelor party and making all travel arrangements for the bride and
groom. He makes sure the groom and other groomsmen get fitted for
and pick up their formalwear. He is also expected to supervise the other
groomsmen and ushers, serve as an official witness to the vows,
safeguards the ring and marriage license just before the wedding, and
pay the clergyman’s fee (which the groom quietly slips to him before the
ceremony).

After the ceremony, he makes sure the wedding party lines up properly
for the "wedding parade" through town, if one is planned. At the
reception, he serves as the master of ceremonies, proposes the first
toast, and remains on hand to ensure that all subsequent speeches are
both short and sweet. His final duty is to return all the rented tuxes.

INCIDENTAL—In case it should happen that several notable
people would like to offer a toast, here is the order of the speakers: best
man, groom’s dad, bride’s dad, groom, bride, maid of honor, groom’s
mom, bride’s mom, other friends and relatives.

And a Few Good Men

Of course, the other groomsmen or ushers are also important members
of the wedding party. The are, in effect, the couples hospitality
committee. Although groomsmen often do double-duty—serving as
ushers before and after the ceremony—in may cases, at large weddings,
for example, there are two sets of men: groomsmen and ushers. (The
general rule is one usher for every 50 guests.) In these instances, it is
the ushers who seat the guests, and it is they who make the first
impression on guests as they arrive.

Ushers greet the guests and escort them on the proper side of the
church. As tradition would have it, when a female guest arrives (whether
she is alone or not), one of the ushers should step forward, extend his
right arm, and escort her to her seat, followed by her spouse or date. (I
am in favor of the more modern sentiment which suggests that this
approach is incompatible with the whole concept of marriage and that
the husband should not be relegated to trailing behind this temporary
pair.)

Before walking toward the pews, the usher should ask which side of the
church she would like to be seated on, the bride’s or groom’s. Generally,
the right side of the church is reserved for the guests of the groom. Her
relatives and friends are usually escorted to the right.

In a Jewish ceremony, this seating arrangement is reversed. And if one
side appears to be filling up and the other side has noticeably few
occupants, then this rule should be abandoned for the sake of
appearances.

Incidentally, in keeping with the spirit of the occasion, ushers should not
escort guests to their seats in total silence, as if this were a solemn affair.

This is a time for a few casual and friendly, yet dignified and quiet
remarks.

Pews are filled from front to back, leaving the first several reserved for
family members and close friends of the bride and groom. Just minutes
before the ceremony is scheduled to begin, two of the ushers should
escort the groom’s mother and then the bride’s mother to their seats.
After the ceremony, they escort these ladies down the aisle.

It is the groomsmen who should be available to assist the bride’s mother
with any last minute details. Just before the bride makes her entrance,
they should unroll the aisle runner. Another important duty of these men
of chivalry is to arrange for transportation of the bridesmaids to the
wedding site.

After the ceremony, as everyone heads off to the reception, it is their
responsibility to ensure that no one is left behind. And, because they are
largely responsible for making sure that a good time is had by all, they
are expected to introduce guests to each other.

Modern day armor

What the groomsmen wear is largely determined by the formality or
informality of the ceremony, and to a lesser extent by considerations
such as location and time of day.

These days, most grooms, groomsmen and ushers rent their formalwear.
The groom and his men should order their tuxes at least three months
before the wedding. If possible, they should select a local shop, just in
case last minute alterations are needed.

The groom and his men usually wear the same attire. To set himself
apart, the groom may select a different colored tie, vest, pocket square,
or boutonniere.

Sometimes the groom will present a memorable gift, such as cufflinks,
studs or, if he can afford to splurge, monogrammed shirts, to be worn by
these men of honor at the wedding. Given all that they are expected to
do, the groom should indeed go out of his way to show his appreciation,
even in advance, for a job well done.

About the Author

Jean Bachcroft is a former public relations director, founder of Bachcroft and Aloha Labels, and the publisher and editor-in-chief of Town and Country Shopping Bargains Magazine. For designer wedding, holiday, and year-round mailing and return address labels, visit Bachcroft Mailing and Return Address Labels and Aloha Return Address Labels [http://alohalabels.com]

For bargains and bargain shopping articles [http://townandcountryshoppingbargains.com], visit Town and Country Shopping Bargains.