Changing Traditions With Walking the Bride Down the Aisle

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The father walking with his daughter down the aisle and handing her over to the arms of her future husband has been a customary act for a long time. This tradition represents a father giving his priceless daughter to a man who will respect, honor, and love her for the many years to come. Nevertheless, this culture isn't usually followed nowadays as many women are getting married at a later age. Furthermore, there are situations where a woman already has a father and a stepfather at the same time.

Today, there are customs that are being designed which are very different from before. These practices take into account the fact that families nowadays have been revised, and that the bride and groom would want to illustrate their character. The bottom line is, it doesn't really matter who goes with the bride down the aisle. What is more vita is that the bride is happy and contented. Below are a few of the refined practices that are related to wedding walks.

Certain replacements of walking with the bride down the aisle can be made if the father is already deceased or is not present in the bride's life. Persons who can replace her father could be a stepfather, an uncle or a brother. If the bride feels really close to her mom, the mother could even walk with her.

In the Jewish tradition, the father and mother walk with the bride down the aisle - a tradition that demonstrates the love that they had endowed their child with and the effort they gave into their daughter's childhood and adolescent days. Several brides from any religions are taking a hint from this practice and prefer to have both parents be with them as this tradition provides their appreciation and the love, care and effort they've given her throughout her life.

If for any reason both the father and the stepfather were very important in her life, she may select to have both walk with her down the aisle. Preferably, the biological father may walk the bride halfway down the aisle and the stepfather will the walk with the bride the rest of the way. Through this, the bride is able to show her love and her appreciation for both fathers.

If the bride is at a later age, it is somehow uncomfortable to her having her father walk with her down the aisle. During these times, a bride walking down the aisle by herself is a common practice. This demonstrates that she is independent enough to make her own decision to get married with the man she loves. If the bride was previously married and had children, she may select to have her son or daughter walk with her down the aisle.

Some brides prefer to go down the aisle with their groom. This has also been a common practice, especially if the couple feels that they have already created a strong commitment from one another whilst being independent from their loved ones. The bride and the groom may go down the aisle together to illustrate their unbreakable love to one another. Sometimes, the groom may also meet the bride halfway down the aisle, to denote their union on middle ground.

The bottom line is what really matters to the bride's decision. Her choice is either following the traditional type of wedding walk or something that is newly improvised. The wedding walk alone is an intense moment for the bride; an indication of the alterations that her life will experience being a wife. The bride should select well with the wedding walk that is suitable to her and to her individuality the most.

Destination wedding ceremonies are a big trend these days for those who want to get away for something exotic, and maybe some of the stresses of planning a local wedding. It could also be a money saver - so much so that you can consider the more expensive engagement rings.

Themed Weddings - A Pirate's Bride

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Ahoy matey! When you were growing up did you enjoy watching old pirate movies like Captain Blood or the Black Swan that showcased a swashbuckling Tyrone Power? I know I did and still do to this day, that's why I decided to come up with some great wedding tips for a pirate themed wedding.

A pirate's wedding can be loads of fun and can incorporate some unique ideas straight out of your imagination. The first thing is to decide where you would like your pirate wedding to be held. A sandy beach, or an elegant home transformed to resemble a pirate's hideout? Perhaps you might be interested in contacting a Hollywood producer about using an old pirate ship from a movie set. You make the decision after all this day is one you have dreamed of all your life. Lights! Camera! Action!

After you have decided on a unique spot for your wedding it's time to bring all the little details that make up a wedding to life. Let's start with some obvious ones like wedding attire.

Since you have decided to become a pirate's bride it's now up to you to dress the part. You might first look at gowns from the pirate's era as a starting point. Well heeled brides wore elaborate gowns that often included a corset or lacing and were patterned from silk or damask with puffy sleeves edged with lace on both cuffs and bodice. You might go back and take a look at the stunning gown Princess Diana wore at her wedding to get a good idea of this particular style. Also the color is entirely up to you. Dress your bridesmaids in a plainer version and add the corset for effect.

Dressing the groom can be alot of fun using the pirate theme. Pirates dressed in bold colors like crimson red or royal purple breeches and muslin shirts enhanced by puffy sleeves and cuffed with dripping lace. Next go for a black belt embellished with a huge gold buckle and knee high black boots for effect. Follow this flamboyant style with a black, tricorn hat adorned with an electrifying red or purple feather and have the groom wear a gold hoop earring and gold necklaces. Last but not least, you might add a black eye patch for a dazzling finish. Have your groomsmen dress as lesser pirates in more somber attire, after all, the groom is the star.

If you really want pirate style, send out invitations made up to look like ransom notes or treasure maps inviting your guests to appear at your wedding. You might also request them to dress in old world attire if they choose.

Now that we've dressed you and your groom and sent out invitations, it's time to dress up your wedding feast. Drape your tables in scarlet cloth and give your guests wine bottle stoppers or letter openers boxed in miniature treasure chests. Finally, let the feast began! Offer your guests pewter plates and cups and let them choose from an assortment of foods that include lobsters, coconut shrimp, fresh salads, tropical fruit, roast chicken and baked bread washed down with an assortment of champagnes, liquers, whiskey and sodas.

After the feast,you might wish to start your honeymoon in the captain's cabin complete with port hole so you can look out at the stars.

I hope I have given you some great ideas to make your pirate themed wedding truly the wedding of your dreams!

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Wedding Traditions - Bride & Groom

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Weddings have been immersed in traditions for eons and they offer a source of comfort during chaos as there is a set way of doing certain things. Having things planned out in a way can be very advantageous as you are free to take care of other important aspects of the marriage like the planning, food, invites, clothes, etc.

Let's take a look at some of the traditions during Weddings

Bouquets

The bridal bouquet has special significance especially for the flowers with which it is made. Every flower used in the bouquet symbolizes a certain emotion or feeling. In the olden days wedding bouquets were made from aromatic herbs which were said to ward off evil spirits. Today flowers have taken over. Let's see what your bouquet says:

Bridal Rose - Happy Love
Daffodil - Regards
White Daisy- Innocence
Forget-me-not - True Love
Fern - Sincerity
Honey Suckle - Bonds of Love
Iris - Messages
Ivy - Friendship
Lavender - Luck
Lilly of the Valley - Return of Happiness
Lilac - First Emotions of Love
Magnolia - Perseverance
Pansy- Thoughts of You
Peppermint- Warmth of Feelings
Yarrow- Everlasting Love
Red Rose- Desire and Love
Sweet Basil- Good Wishes
Rosemary- Remembrance
Sweet Alyssum- Worth beyond Beauty
Sweet Pea- Delicate Pleasures
Violet- Faithfulness

Throwing the Bouquet
Earlier the bouquet was given by a dear friend as a symbol of luck and good wishes. Today it signifies the transfer of the same good luck and wishes of getting married. It is believed that who so ever catches the wedding bouquet thrown by the bride is next in line to get hitched.

Throwing the Rice
Rice was showered on the couple as a sign of good luck and prosperity. In some cultures rice is the symbol of fertility and abundance and the rice was thrown to wish wealth, children and a large harvest. Many places today don't allow throwing rice for environmental reasons. You can try confetti, bubbles, and even birdseed.

The White Wedding Dress
White it's the color of pureness and in especially in the olden days it stood for virginity. It was said that the bride should wear only white. Today traditions are changing. In Asian cultures women wear red as it stands for joy and happiness.

The Ring Finger
The Egyptians believed that the vein from the second finger from the left ran straight to the heart and so the ring that would symbolize true love in a marriage should be placed on this finger itself.

The Kiss
The tradition of the kiss started with the Romans, when the kiss was legally binding and was taken as a sign of betrothal. This tradition was then adopted by the Christian ceremonies in which the man and woman share their kiss for the first time after being pronounced man and wife. It is also believed that every time two people kiss they leave a part of their soul with each other with the passing of the breath. So after the marriage it symbolizes the joining of two souls and the commitment to each other is sealed.

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Wedding Traditions - Weird and Wonderful Things You Didn't Know About Weddings

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Although brides' may not realize it, their wedding day is surrounded with traditions that have been around for hundreds of years. One of the first, is that the groom and bride should not meet on their wedding day until the marriage ceremony. For, it is said that to even glimpse each other will bring bad luck.

A bride traditionally wears a white dress which denotes purity, and for the same reason, she wears a veil over her face. In the past the bridesmaids also wore veils - but this was to prevent the Devil singling out the bride for his evil intentions. It is usual for a bride to wear something old (a reminder of her old life) something new (a new life ahead) and something blue, a colour that has been associated with weddings since Roman times.

For many years a slim spray of lilies was popular as a wedding bouquet. Then designs changed, but now they are back in fashion once again. Being white, lilies are a symbol of purity - and are said to have grown from soil wet by Eve's tears after she was banned from the Garden of Eden. At the wedding ceremony, a bride is handed by her father to the waiting bridegroom. This custom follows ancient traditions, when the bride, being the property of her father, was passed over to the bridegroom for his safekeeping. Shoes tied to the back of the bridal car are also a symbol of her leaving home and her feet now being on her husband's hearth.

When it comes to placing the ring on the bride's finger, she holds her left hand forward, and the bridegrooms slips the ring on her third finger. A vein from this finger is said to run straight to the heart! And as the couple leave church, guests traditionally shower them with confetti, flower petals or rice. Throwing rice at weddings goes back to Roman times. As a quick growing crop, rice has always been associated with fertility. Romans also broke small cakes over the heads of the newly weds.

Chimney sweeps are sometimes seen mingling with the guests outside the church. They are associated with bringing good luck, as is giving the bride a cardboard cut-out of a black cat. Artificial horseshoes are yet another symbol of good luck. The Romans nailed horseshoes on the walls of their houses to counteract the evil eye of the Devil.

Before a bride leaves her wedding party she will often throw her bouquet to her bridesmaids, and the one who catches it hopes she will become the next bride. When the bride arrives at her new home it is customary for the bridegroom to carry her over the threshold into a new life. Later that day they have what is known as 'the first night'. Meaning the first night they have ever slept together.

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Traditions Involved in a Contemporary Hindu Wedding

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1) Roknaa (Marriage Fixed Ceremony)

Profile: In this ceremony there is a formal visit between groom, bride and their parents. The meaning of this ceremony is to stop looking for matches any further.

Date: This ceremony can be held several months before the wedding.

Time: It is generally held in the evening.

Venue: Usually at bride's home

Organized By: bride's family

Gifts: No gifts

Puja: no puja

Banquet: light meal like snacks, sweets

2) Engagement

Profile: In this ceremony Bride and Groom exchange rings called the engagement ring.

Date: This ceremony can held several months before the wedding.

Time: It is generally held in the evening.

Venue: banquet hall, hotel, resort

Organized By: Usually by bride's family

Gifts: No gifts Puja: no puja Banquet: luncheon / dinner

3) Tilak Ceremony

Profile: There are two Tilak ceremonies: one is of the bride and other is of the groom. In bride's Tilak ceremony groom doesn't come and in the groom's Tilak ceremony bride doesn't come. However parents and relatives of bride and groom are present in both ceremonies.

Date: This ceremony can held one day after the engagement or with the engagement.

Time: Morning / Evening.

Venue: Banquet hall, Hotel, Resort

Organized By: Bride and groom's family

Gifts: In bride's Tilak ceremony gifts are given to the groom's relatives (this rite is known as Milnni) and Jewellery is received by bride from groom's parents.

Puja: a pundit performs Puja Banquet: luncheon / Dinner

4) Ladies' Sangeet

Profile: In this ceremony friends and other female relatives of bride and her parents sing and dance. There is a mehendi ceremony also in which an artist decorates the bride's palm with mehendi. There can also be a DJ / DJ floor. Only friends and other female relatives of bride and her parents are invited in this ceremony.

Date: This ceremony held one day before the wedding.

Time: Morning / Evening. Venue: Banquet hall, Hotel, Resort

Organized By: bride's family

Gifts: no gifts

Puja: no puja Banquet: light meal like snacks, sweets

5) Shaadi (Wedding)

Profile: In this ceremony bride and groom get married.

Date: decided by groom and bride 's parents with the help of an astrologer.

Time: Usually Evening.

Venue: Banquet hall, Hotel, Resort, Marriage hall, Marriage garden, ground or park.

Organized By: Usually by bride's family Gifts: guest give gifts to bride and groom.

Puja: a pundit performs Puja. Bride and groom perform phera (moving in circle) in a mandap.

Banquet: multi-cuisine dinner

6) Reception

Profile: The purpose of this ceremony is to introduce bride with all the family members of groom.

Date: This ceremony held one day after the wedding.

Time: Usually Evening.

Venue: Banquet hall, Hotel, Resort

Organized By: Groom's family

Gifts: Guests give gifts to bride and groom

Puja: no Puja

Banquet: multi-cuisine dinner

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Sri Lankan Wedding Traditions & Sri Lankan Bride's Dress

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Sri Lankan religious and cultural traditions feature a second reception after the couple's honeymoon. The family of the groom gives these receptions. It is known as a homecoming, and signifies the bringing back of a bride by the groom. Brides left their homes and joined the groom, a practice still widely held in rural areas and villages. Nowadays, most wedded couples opt to build their own homes, though at times there is a period of living at the groom's home until enough resources are saved for the move into their own homes. Grooms are known to live with their bride's family at times.

As with many similar Asian traditions of culture, Sri Lankan grooms and brides change into different types of dress at the conclusion of the reception. Like in the British tradition, this change of Sri Lankan bridal dress is named the going away dress, which is worn when the wedded couple are about to exit to their Toronto honeymoon. The Sri Lankan bridal dress is much more formal than the western tradition of dress, not unlike the bridal clothing, but can be of different colors and styles. This practice of changing the bridal dress to the going away clothing spans almost all Sri Lankan religions and cultures.

Sri Lankan Traditional Sari

There are four traditional silk saris worn during a Toronto Sri Lankan wedding. The first is worn at the ceremony of thalee, and features red and yellow colors, with a wide border. The second is worn following the marriage ceremony, and is known as Innaik Koorai, which features rose, yellow or muskat colors. The sari worn to the official Toronto ceremony of marriage registration is the third one, and his family pays these three saris on behalf of the groom.

The final Sri Lankan bridal dress sari is paid foe by the bride herself and is worn to the arrival ceremony of the wedding day's wedding stage. The bride's family also pays for a silk set of Salvai and Vesti to present at the wedding stage, for wearing at the marriage registration, which are a shirt and trouser for the groom. The groom presents the silk sari to the bride, as well with further traditional items following the pooja stage of the ceremony. This happens in between the changing of this Sri Lankan bridal dress sari for the ceremony of thalee wearing.

Along with the bride's attire (sari), there also includes a headpiece or veil, accessories such as gloves, under slips and shoes. Further accompaniments include the bridal jewelry and the bridal dressing, which includes makeup and hair. This is repeated for the going away and homecoming ceremonies. The bridesmaids and flower girls also receive wedding Sri Lankan bridal dress saris, along with all the accessories, makeup and hair, and jewelry.

Bridegroom Marriage Dress

The bridegroom selects appropriate wedding attire for him and the male ceremony party, including the best men and Paige boys, for the various ceremonies. The wedding assistants at the Toronto wedding hall or temple also get offered with wedding attire, as are the traditional Toronto ceremony musicians.

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Ethiopian Wedding Traditions

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Wedding traditions are not standard around the world, rather they vary enormously. Some wedding traditions appear unusual to different people of various backgrounds while they are standard to others.

In Ethiopia, just like Toronto, the parents of the groom and bride often organize Christian marriages and they involve much negotiation. There are many such talks where parties do not come to a consensus regarding various issues. By the time the marriage takes place, the bride is expected to be a virgin according to their cultures and traditions. If the bride is not a virgin by the time she gets married, this will bring much shame to the family because the bride's virginity is considered to be of high value and pride in Christian marriage. It symbolizes purity and patience on the bride's part. In particular, rural women have a tendency to marry at a tender age in comparison to their husbands.

Unlike Toronto weddings, the custom in Ethiopia was initially for the bridegroom to wait until he attained the age of thirty for him to marry. This was done in accordance to the biblical example of Jesus where he begun his public ministry at the age of thirty. As per the tradition, the groom's parents take the responsibility of getting their son a bride. This is very different as compared to Toronto weddings. To ensure that there is no chance of the families being related by blood, the groom's parents engage in an investigation before they contact the bride's parents. Once the investigations are through and there is no relationship, the parents of the groom proceed to make contact through a mediator with the prospective bride's parents. This mediator visits the potential bride's home and asks her parents if their daughter will marry the other parent's son.

Often, the bride's parents impose conditions and the mediator takes a message to the groom's parents to arrange a meeting at an allocation that is mutually convenient to both parties. If both parents reach a positive agreement, the man and woman are regarded engaged. The parents and all the wedding expenses taken care of by them then set a wedding date. The first time the bride and groom ever set eyes on one other is on the wedding day. This is similar to most Toronto weddings. Both sets of parents invite the guests and prepare drinks and food for them. The groom has to go take his future to be from her matrimonial home. At the wedding ceremony full of song and dancing, just like Toronto ceremonies, the groom gets a dowry from the bride's parents normally in form, of cattle and money.

When the ceremony ends, the groom takes the bride to his parents' house where he has three days to take the bride's virginity. Depending on the economic capabilities of the groom's parents' the honeymoon can last from one week to three months' at the groom's parent's house where the best man or men can accompany them. After this, they go to the brides' parent's house for a set time together with the best man/men. While on the honeymoon, the bride can only go out after sunset, but not at daytime.

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Traditions To Bring You Good Luck After Marriage

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Regarding to wedding, there is an old saying "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and a silver sixpence in her shoe." Although many people may have heard of this, not many of them will know the meaning behind these items. In fact, all these are items that will bring good luck to the couple.

Something Old

This essentially means that the bride does not to break away from her old ties, although she will have a new life after marriage. And this also shows the connection between the old stuff and the new stuff. Practically, the bride will usually wear something that her mother or grandmother used before. For example, the she may wear the wedding rings of her mother on her right hand. On the other hand, she may also choose to put a piece of lace from the gown of her mother to her new gown.

Something Borrowed

The bride will also wear something which is borrowed from the others. She will borrow something from a person that is extremely important to her. And this is the way to show the importance of the once who lends to the bride. Usually this person will be her best friend or close relative. It is not difficult to imagine that there people would be very important to her. Particularly, brides will borrow from the best friend of her mother or grandmother. Again, items such as wedding rings will be borrowed.

Something New

It is not difficult to understand the notion of Something New. And at them end of the day the couple will certainly have to buy something new. Here it implies that there will be a new life after the marriage. And this is true because the brides and grooms will start a different life as a married couple after the wedding.

Something Blue

The idea of Something Blue has a biblical origin being associated with the Virgin Mary and stands for 'fidelity'. In the past, brides in Rome would wear a blue wedding gown. This is symbolizing the notion of purity and faithfulness. As all of us are well aware, we do not wear blue gowns anymore. Instead we will usually wear gowns which are white in color. And nowadays brides will take the idea of blue color to carry this tradition. Many brides will choose to have blue garters. Some other brides may even choose underwear which is blue in color!

A Silver Sixpence in her Shoe

Many people will just neglect this last item nowadays. In fact, there is a custom to put a silver sixpence into her left shoe. This is in fact a Scottish tradition. It is indeed a blessing to the couple, which wishes them wealthy.

The above items are all about the luck of the couple. It is meant to bring good fortune to the couple. And these items are mainly for the brides. From this you will know the importance of the bride in order to have good fortune after marriage! Of course the good luck is not only for her, it is also for the groom and the new family formed.

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Old Wedding Customs and Traditions, Some Updated for the Modern Bride and Groom

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Most cultures celebrate the love, devotion and commitment called wedding, with unique customs and traditions. Because the wedding is a wonderful and touching event, brides and grooms want both ceremony and reception to be personalized and unique to them. Thus, they look for meaningful experiences and often adopt customs and traditions of cultures other than their own.

In this article you'll read specifically about the wedding cake(s) and how they evolved, traditional anticipated and acceptable wedding money game, and interesting customs relating to wedding attire.

bride or wedding cake

The wedding cake tradition goes back many centuries to ancient times. Originally it represented fertility. Ancient Romans would cake was made of wheat or barley. Though the actual procedure is unclear, the custom was to break it over the bride's head as a symbol of her fertility. Like just about anything else, the wedding cake evolved over time. Since the Roman wedding cake has passed various transitions. One of the major ones is that of stacking several cakes of different sizes atop one another, as tall as possible. The challenge was for the bride and groom to kiss over this tower without knocking it over. Another important transition occurred when the cake became palatable, iced and decorated. In modern times, the cake has a cake top that represents the bride and groom, their interests or wedding theme and even children. Traditionally the top layer of the cake is to be placed in the freezer and eaten on the first anniversary.

Groom

Southern wedding tradition enriched the wedding scene with A cake for the groom. Originally, Southern Belles ordered special single layer cakes for their beaus. Today it has become an integral part many weddings. However, this cake that is usually frosted in a dark color (chocolate is a popular choice) and represent his personality or interests, is usually kept secret. The groom who does not suspect that there will be a cake in his honor is often surprised to discover it at the rehearsal dinner or wedding reception.

Children

With more and more FAMILY weddings, it has become quite popular for brides and grooms who have children to have a special single layer cake for the children. These cake designated to the kids in the wedding, are often frosted in their favorite colors and topped with a cake top that depicts a family. Many parents add inscriptions. Some choice inscriptions are:

The first names of all - children, bride and groom and the wedding date

Today we are a family - and wedding date.

A family since - Date of wedding Date

Welcome to the family - Love mom and... or Dad and... or first names and date.

This cake may be served to their friends.

Auction Anyone?

At the wedding reception in the upper Midwestern states, the best man - not the groom - auctions the garter instead of tossing it .He carries a hat around the reception site and guests put dollar bills in it. The bills are counted and the amount of money accumulated revealed. A specified time frame is announced and after it has elapsed, the best man gives the garter to the last person to put money in the hat. This and the money dance, raise money for the honeymoon and / or establishing a home.

Another fun idea that is perfect for outdoors weddings is the Picnic Basket auction. Remember the movie "Oklahoma"?

Money Dance

Originating from most European countries, the Money Dance has become so popular across all weddings that a special Purse - Money Bag is one of the items present with the wedding accessories collection. Called in the USA the Dollar Dance, is where male guests "pay" to dance with the bride. Various methods are used by different cultures. In some, the bride carries a Purse and the dancers place monetary bills in it, in others the dancers pin the bills on the wedding gown, yet in others, the maid of honor wears an apron and collects the money given by the guests to dance with the bride. In all traditions, the guests are expected to be generous when "paying" for a dance with the bride. since the money collected is to be used by the newly weds on their honeymoon and for setting a household.

The money dance is so widely accepted as an integral part of a wedding, that most guests anticipate that it will be included in the celebration providing a way for brides and grooms to generate cash without requesting or even suggesting money as wedding gifts.

NOTE: We at A-wedding Day have received many inquiries regarding the proper way to ask wedding guests to give money instead of gifts. The answer to ALL was the same. There is NO proper way. It is tacky if and in bad taste. DO NOT do it!!!

Attire

Brides in many Latin-American countries wear a light blue slip beneath their dresses.
In many Latin-American countries as well as in in many Latin-American countries the flower girls and ring bearer may be dressed as miniature versions of the bride and groom.

Brides from Eastern Europe tend to wear a floral wreath rather than a tiara or crown. In fact, in a traditional Greek wedding, gold crowns but more often wreathes made of orange blossoms connected by silk ribbon, are placed on the heads of both bride and groom, considered king and queen for the day. They wear them throughout their entire wedding day.

In Hawaiian weddings, both the bride and the groom dress in pure white, with the groom wearing either a red sash or a black cloth belt tied around his waist. Both bride and groom also wear flower leis, which symbolize love and respect. Each flower lei consists of 40 to 50 fresh flowers strung on a colorful ribbon and are one of the oldest symbols of Hawaiian culture.

Veil

The wedding veil which today is sheer, originated centuries ago and was not sheer. One theory is that the veil stems from the days when the Groom and his friends, the Groomsmen, would throw a blanket over the Brides head when he captured her.

Another theory is that, during the time of arranged marriages, the Brides face was kept covered until after the ceremony. That way, the Groom was committed, and could not run off if he was disappointed in her looks.

In some cultures the veil is worn to protect the Bride from evil spirits that might be floating around.

There is also a reason why the veil is sheer. It goes back to the biblical story of Jacob who married Leah instead of his beloved Rachel. The custom of the day was for the groom to lift the bride's head and face covering after the marriage ceremony. Since Leah wore a cloth covering, Laban, Rachel and Leah's father, "switched"" brides as he wanted the oldest daughter to be the first to marry. So unbeknown to him Jacob was marrying the wrong bride.

Copyrights © 2007 All Rights Reserved Nily Glaser,

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Nily Glaser, the CEO of A-wedding Day at: http://www.a-weddingday.com She writes important articles, and has presented workshops for wedding professionals all over the USA.
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Jewish Wedding Heritage, Customs and Traditions, Including the Ketubah, Chupah, Breaking Glass

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Jewish Tradition

Ever wondered about the Chuppah, Ketuba,
and other Jewish wedding customs?

Jewish tradition does not considers the wedding ceremony and the ensuing marriage as a mere social arrangement or contractual agreement, but as a full commitment to "sanctification" or "dedication." The Hebrew word kiddushin, stems from the word kadosh meaning holy. It indicates that what is happening is a holy spiritual bonding and that as of the wedding ceremony and throughout their lives, the couple have an exclusive relationship, that involves complete dedication to each other.

Engagement

When a Jewish couple, gets engaged to be married, the families usually announce the occasion and the wedding date with an engagement party. There is an almost un-heard of ritual performed by the bride's and groom's mothers to emphasize the seriousness of the commitment of the man and the woman who formally announced their plan to marry.
It is, the act of breaking a ceramic plate. Customarily, the bride's mother and the groom's mother, drop the well wrapped plate onto a hard surface. Breaking the plate indicates that just as breaking the plate is final, so too the engagement is final, not to be terminated.

It is customary, though not frequently practiced, that at that time of the engagement party, the families sign a contract, that declares the obligations of each side concerning the wedding. In the more traditional Jewish Circles, the bride and groom stop seeing each other, one week before the wedding. This, in order to have them miss each other. Thus, enhancing the joy of seeing each other at their wedding.If the ketubah is lost, a new one must be written.

Before the wedding

It is customary that on the Shabbat morning before the wedding, the groom is honored by being called up to the reading of the Torah in the synagogue or temple. After he recites the last blessing, members of the congregation throw candies and raisins at him to wish him a sweet life with his wife.
Tradition calls for the bride and groom to fast on the day of their wedding, until after the ceremony. Though the reason given is so they purify their souls, the actual benefit is that though they may be nervous, neither will suffer a queezy stomach.

Witnesses

One of the most essential elements of the legal aspect of a Jewish wedding is the presence of witnesses. Proper witnesses are needed to observe the signing of all documents and contracts, the actual ceremony when the groom places the ring on his brides finger and recites the prescribed statement, and when the bride and groom now Mr, and Mrs. enter the celebration - reception.

Ketuba

The first thing usually done by the groom upon arrival, is the completion, signing and witnessing of the Ketubah - marriage contract.
The authentic text of the Ketubah is the text written by Simeon ben Shetach in 80 B.C.E. and is in Aramaic, the language used by Jews during that period. Thus, historically, the ketubah marked a great leap forward in the thinking about the rights of women.
You may call this contract an ancient pre-nuptial agreement since it details not only the husband's obligations to his wife concerning food, clothing, shelter and pleasure, it also creates a lien on all his property to pay her a sum of money and support, should he divorce her.

The document is signed by the groom and witnessed by two people. It has the standing of a legally binding agreement, that in many countries is enforceable by secular law. If the ketubah is lost, a new one must be written.
Like everything else, Ketubot (plural) have evolved in their form.
In all but Orthodox Judaism The Ketuba can be presented in the traditional Arameic, Hebrew and - or English and both bride and groom can commit and sign. However, they still need two witnesses.
The Ketubah is a document of the highest importance yet, thorough out history, it was proudly and prominently framed it and displayed in the home. Hence, since at least the fourteenth century, the Ketubah has evolved into a wonderful form of art. It is often calligraphed on an illuminated and illustrated manuscript that becomes a treasured family heirloom, to pass on to the following generations.

Unveiling the bride

After the signing of the Ketubah, light snacks and some hard liquor for the Lechayim - To Life, are served. Remember the "To life - Lechayim," scene from the Fiddler on the Roof?
In Orthodox Jewish weddings, during this time, in another room, the bride sits like a queen*, on a throne-like, especially decorated chair. She is surrounded by her family and friends, receiving her guests. Following the Lechayim, the groom together with his father and future father-in-law, musicians and male guests walks over to his bride, whom he has not seen for a week and covers her face with her veil. This ceremony is so the groom identifies his bride before the wedding. If Jacob did so, he would not have been conned to marry Leah instead of his beloved Rachel.

*In Jewish tradition, a bride and groom are akin to king and queen and sit on chairs that are highly decorated to resemble thrones. It is a Mitzvah - commandment and an obligation, to cause the bride and groom to rejoice. This is why in many Jewish wedding celebrations the bride and groom are lifted on their special chairs, by their friends who sing and dance with joy.
The best way to rejoice with the bride and groom is to express your joy, love and best wishes.

Chuppah

The actual Jewish wedding ceremony is conducted under a Chuppah or canopy.
The chuppah, which is either a tallit - prayer shawl, or a decorated* square of cloth held up by four poles, symbolizes the new home being created by the couple. It is open on all sides, just as Abraham and Sarah had their tent open all sides to welcome friends and relatives in unconditional hospitality. It is customary for the bride and groom to honor four of their best friends and - or siblings ro hold the poles during the ceremony. This adds love, warmth and intimacy to the ceremony. The bride and groom stand under the chuppah during the ceremony, with the bride to the right of the groom. Traditionally, Jewish wedding ceremonies were held out doors under the stars as a reminder of God's blessing, bestowed upon Abraham that his children shall be will be as numerous "as the stars of the heavens."

In Orthodox Jewish weddings that separate men from women, the groom is led to the chuppah by the 2 fathers or other 2 male relatives, while the bride is led by the mothers. In Conservative and Reform - less restrictive Jewish weddings, the groom is accompanied to the chuppah by his parents and the bride is accompanied to the chuppah by her parents.

Under the chuppah, the Rabbi recites the marriage blessings and a blessing over wine, and then a blessing that praises and thanks God for giving us laws of sanctity and morality to preserve the sanctity of family life and of the Jewish people.
Both the bride and the groom then drink from the wine.

*If you are looking for a great chuppah idea, read the article "Wedding Quilt - Chuppah, A Gift of Love" But instead of creating a quilt, create a chuppah.

Circling the groom

Traditionally, though it is not obligatory that the bride alone or with both her mother and the mother of the groom circle the groom. That is go around and around him. Because the number 7 is so significant in Judaism 7 circlings have become the norm. The most beautiful explanation is that in circling him 7 times, the bride enters the 7 spheres of her beloved´s souls.

The Wedding Ring

The groom, now takes a plain solid gold ring and places it on the index finger of the bride's right hand and in the presence of two witnesses, recites "Behold you are sanctified to me with this ring, according to the Law of Moses and Israel."
The ring symbolizes the concept of the groom encompassing, protecting and providing for his wife. After the ring was placed on the bride's index finger, the Ketubah is read aloud and given to the bride.
At this point, the bride can place a ring on the groom's finger.
The ring symbolizes the concept of the wholeness of th union and of the groom encompassing, protecting and providing for his wife. The reason for the solid plain unblemished gold ring is three fold.

A solid, un-blemished ring represents complete wholeness in the marriage with no holes or obstacles.

The bride and groom should consider the marriage and devotion to each other without considering wealth.

So every groom could afford to buy a ring for his bride.

If the groom is too poor, someone from the community would buy it for him, as the ring given to the bride must belong to the groom and no one else.
After the ring was placed on the bride's finger, the Ketubah is read aloud and given to the bride.

Seven Blessings

The Rabbi recites seven blessing over a full cup of wine. After this, the couple again share in drinking the cup of wine, and the groom breaks a glass by stamping on it.

Breaking a Glass in Jewish Weddings

This custom puzzles many who seek explanation. Actually, this custom dates back to Talmudic times, to remind us of the destruction of the holy temple in Jerusalem. Another interpretation given is that the smashing of the glass is irrevocable and permanent. So too should the marriage be. As the bride and groom bond together, the glass should be the last thing to break, between them. Yet another interpretation is that uniting a man and a woman and creating a new family is divine. Thus, even at an occasion of such great rejoicing, one must take measures to ensure that the celebration remains within bounds of propriety and holiness.
After the breaking of the glass the musicians play and the guests shout "Mazal tov! Mazal tov" - Good Luck. When the bride and groom arrive at the reception, as Mr. and Mrs., everyone joins in dancing around the "king and queen."

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