Tips For the Brother of the Bride

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If you are the brother of the bride, you may not think that you have much of a role to play in the upcoming wedding, but that is not true. There are plenty of ways in which you can participate and share in the excitement. Here are some tips on how to be a great brother of the bride.

A lot of guys are not really that "into" weddings, and unless it is your wedding, that is just fine. You may think that your sister and mom are going absolutely crazy over this whole wedding thing (especially if you are the younger, unmarried brother of the bride), and it may even be true. However, you will do yourself no favors by sharing that opinion with your sister, for whom the wedding is probably one of the biggest days of her entire life. A better tactic when your sister starts going on about the wedding is just to smile and nod while she talks; she may not even notice that your eyes have glazed over!

Most brothers of the bride will be asked to participate in the ceremony in some way. You will probably be asked to serve as a groomsman, and your duties will be much the same as those of the rest of the groomsmen. You get to help with the bachelor party, be fitted for a tuxedo, receive one of the groomsmen gifts, attend the rehearsal and dinner afterwards, and stand up with the groom during the marriage service. Single brothers will be pleased to hear that they are also responsible for escorting a pretty young bridesmaid up the aisle during the recessional.

As a member of the family, it would be nice for the bride's brother to go above and beyond what the other groomsmen may offer to do. It is a nice gesture towards the groom, and a way to help welcome him into your family. For instance, you might assist the groom in finding the perfect groomsmen gifts, as well as a wedding day gift for his sister (usually jewelry). You can also help with planning the bachelor party or guys' weekend away. And finally, the bride's brother can give the groom the inside scoop on the rest of the members of his family.

Speaking of the bachelor party, even though you are the bride's brother, you are there as a friend to the groom, so it is your duty to keep your lips sealed about what went on, unless something terribly inappropriate took place. You wouldn't be the first brother of the bride to be besieged by questions from a curious sister, but really all you should tell her is that everyone had a great time and that it was good clean fun. This will help to put her mind at ease, while also showing the groom that his future brother-in-law is a real buddy, not a spy for his sister.

At times the brother of the bride might end up taking on a more important role in the wedding. If their father has passed away, it would be very appropriate and touching for the bride's brother to be the one to walk her down the aisle and give her away. It is also very nice if you give a brief toast at the reception. Keep it brief and congratulatory; you surely know all sorts of embarrassing stories about your sister, but the wedding toast is not the time to bring them up!

With a little more involvement, the bride's brother might actually find that her wedding can be a good time. You also have the pleasure of gaining a new brother, and if you are single, meeting some attractive women (weddings often breed more weddings, you know). In the end, you might just come to discover that being the brother of the bride is not so bad after all.

Guy has been writing about society and weddings for a long time. If you have a topic you would like to know about. Let us know at SilverlandJewelry.com. Thank your attendants for being in your wedding with handsome groomsmen gifts.

Bride on a Budget - 7 Tips For Planning a Wallet-Friendly Wedding

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When I got married in 2004, I had just graduated from college and had no job, my parents were in the middle of a divorce, and my then-fiance and I had no savings to speak of. But by planning smart, we still managed to have the wedding of our dreams. Here are some tips to help you do the same.

1. Ditch the DJ. Instead of hiring someone to spin for us all night, we created a playlist on our iPod and hooked it up to the reception hall's speaker system. Cost to us? Nada. And the added bonus is that we didn't have to suffer through the Macarena, the Electric Slide, or the Chicken Dance.


2. Quash the string quartet. I walked down the aisle to a beautiful arrangement of Pachbel's Canon in D Minor on a free CD I got with a purchase of $10 or more at some boutique in town. I labeled the disk with track number and passed it off to the sound guy at the inn where we held the ceremony (which, I might add, cost less than $500), and it was just right.


3. Downsize the dress. You're going to be wearing it for, what, 6 hours max? Don't spend thousands of dollars on a dress you're only going to wear once. David's Bridal has $99 wedding gown sales constantly, and you can find awesome bargains at regular dress shops, too. My dress was a prom-season find that cost me $130 and was miles better than any "real wedding gown" I tried on - and I tried on a lot of dresses.


4. Minimize the menu. Do you really need crab balls and lobster bisque and filet mignon to be able to enjoy your wedding dinner? We negotiated a five-course plated dinner (including filet mignon, some fancy fish I'd never heard of but loved, rabbit, and a cheese course) with open wine and beer all night and an hour of passed hors d'oeuvres for less than $50 per person at the very nicest restaurant in town, and it was amazing.


5. Get frugal with your flowers. My bouquet had more than three dozen roses in it, we passed out long-stemmed roses to all of the moms and grandmas (of which there were many - our extended family gets remarried a lot), and packed the rehearsal dinner and reception hall with blooms - and it cost less than $75. The secret? My best friend and I hit up BJs and Costco, two local discount wholesale stores, and cleaned them out, and then put everything together ourselves in about two wine-saturated hours using a few straight pins, a couple of spools of ribbon, and a picture torn out of Martha Stewart Living. The petals that fell off went in a ribbon-festooned basket for my flower girl, who wore a borrowed dress and her new school shoes for the ceremony.


6. Guard the guest list. Do you seriously need to invite your entire family? If you wouldn't recognize them on the street, they shouldn't be at your wedding. It's your day, and you should be surrounded by the people closest to you in the world - and that doesn't always mean blood relatives. You may need to make some compromises here and there, but don't sacrifice the presence of someone you truly want there because your mom doesn't want to offend Uncle Bob. That's her problem, not yours.


7. Be prudent about pictures. Rather than spend thousands of dollars on a so-called professional photographer, we hired an art student from the local college and got literally the best wedding photos I have ever seen for $350 and the cost of one dinner, film, and developing. Ask to see a portfolio and make sure the personalities are right, but don't assume that you have to shell out the big bucks for pride-worthy pictures.

There are dozens if not hundreds of creative ways to save money on your wedding ceremony, and these ideas will get you started on the road to planning a wedding that's both beautiful and affordable.

Kristen King is a Virginia copywriter and consultant, and the editor/publisher of Richmond on the Cheap For more ways to be cheap without giving up the good stuff, visit Kristen at Richmond OTC.