Classic Spending Pitfalls of Brides

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Everybody loves a wedding, no one more so than the bride herself. Having a wedding budget is almost like a free pass to go shopping and spend, but for most brides this can lead to complete disaster when it comes to getting the best deal. There are several big pitfalls that brides fall for when it comes to overspending. Being aware of them will help you curb your spending and stay on budget, but more importantly it will help you stay cool and calm when you want to negotiate.

Emotional shopping

The first biggest pitfall is your own emotion. Girls are an emotional bunch. We often let our feelings and emotions dictate how we shop. We'll shop because we're happy, we'll shop because we're sad and we'll buy just because it's cute and we 'had to have it'. In each instance, we're shopping with our emotions, which can be a very dangerous thing.

For a supplier, it's easy to play to your emotions. If you're emotional, they can easily get you to spend more. They sell you the dream, which, because you're wrapped up in your emotion, you go along with it all. Before you know it, you've spent more than you bargained for.

To stay on your budget, you've got to leave your emotions at home. You need to begin to think rationally, keep your budget in mind at all times and work out how you can achieve what you want within that. Getting carried away with all the pretty things around you isn't going to help!

To go that step further and negotiate with a supplier, you've got to be calm, well-prepared and know what you can get for your money. Emotions just don't play a part in negotiation, so save them for the big day!

Lack of preparation and homework

Many brides prepare by reading magazines and talking to their other bride-to-be friends. They get ideas, share thoughts and their best 'guestimates' of what they think the price is going to be. This is probably the worst error you could make.

You'll end up with lots of different ideas, possibly conflicting ideas which will lead to confusion and possibly multiple, wasteful purchases. The rough prices you got from your (oh, so knowledgeable) friends will leave you way off your budget too.

Sure, it's great to get ideas, but let's put this into perspective. You want to stay on budget and the best way to do that is to prepare properly. You need to do this yourself and it will involve a lot of research as I outlined in Chapter 2: Preparing For Negotiation.

Accepting what suppliers say

Suppliers are generally the ones with all the experience, so you tend to put your trust in them immediately. After all they've been doing it for years and this is your first experience of planning a wedding.

It's easy to accept what they say, but don't forget that the wedding industry is adept at getting you to spend more than you have to. They'll tell you that you need more than you really do, for example, you'll find that photographers will tell you need more time than you really do to get those 'must have' shots, caterers will say you need more food for your buffet rather than catering to a smaller number and your florist may tell you that it's the done thing to have those special additional flowers.

Just because they're saying it, doesn't mean it's true. They're there to try and get you to spend more at every opportunity. So be cynical and a little mistrusting if they're offering all sorts of advice which you're not asking for.

Riding along the wedding wave

All those wedding magazines are meant to inspire you, give you creative ideas and feed your desires. They set about creating an ideal image that they want you to aspire to. And it works, year-on-year the cost of weddings is rising. But ask yourself, is it the cost of weddings rising, or is that brides are just spending more?

This is where I get really cynical, so bear with me! The wedding industry creates these ideas and ideals so you spend more money. Weddings are big business and everyone's after profit. With first-time brides having such a lot of money available to them to spend, they're onto a clear winner. They get you to spend more, on more areas of your wedding and they all benefit.

With the image they create, it's easy to get carried along the wedding wave and fall into the trap of having a 'me too' wedding. They're telling you that this is what weddings are like, but it's their image of your big day, not yours.

Get the idea of your wedding in your head, make it a clear picture and research it carefully to get ensure it works within your budget more or less. If it's more, well, then we'll just have to negotiate it!

The last pitfall is using the word 'wedding' and this one requires a little further explanation as to why the word 'wedding' really should be banned from a bride-to-be's lips...

Using the word 'wedding'

With weddings being a one-off event in people's lives, we all want the day to be special. If something goes wrong, there's no repeating it, so this really is a one-time event.

Every bride wants it to be perfect from start to finish and you'll put a lot of effort into making that way. Everything needs to be 'just so', after all, you've probably imagined this day for a long time.

But why is it that when we look for things for our wedding, that the prices just seem ludicrous? Why is that a children's party DJ is £200, but a wedding DJ is £600? A cake with three tiers is £70, but a three tier wedding cake is £300? It just doesn't seem right does it?

But let's look at this from a supplier's point of view. They see an opportunity for a premium product and market their products and services as such. Weddings are special. You want to feel special as the bride and you're willing to go out of your way to get your day 'just so'. The supplier knows this and with any kind of business, catering to these specific needs creates a premium product.

They know you want it to be special (therefore they'll add a premium). They know it's a one-time event in your life (therefore they'll add a premium). They know that you've got your heart set on their product (therefore they'll add a premium).

Creating a product that's 'special' tends to use higher quality materials or ingredients. For example, you'll find better quality fabrics in the dresses, higher quality ingredients in the cakes or a better bottle of wine on the 'wedding' menu. It's for these reasons the price is higher.

The good thing about premium products and services though is that you can negotiate what's on offer so the product comes in at a price that's acceptable to your budget. You can find out more about this later on.

Unfortunately, not all wedding services are premium and there are plenty of scoundrels out there offering a supposedly better 'wedding' product, where in fact, they're riding off the back of the 'wedding' industry. Watch out for them!

Interestingly, if you tackle suppliers by not mentioning the word 'wedding' when you're asking for quotes, you'll often be given a different price altogether. You're not asking for anything 'special' from them, therefore you don't get that 'premium' price. So my first tip would be to avoid saying that you're having a wedding and see how much you can save.

Those that certainly don't need to know that you're having a wedding are the cake maker, your DJ or band, caterer and transport.

There are of course, exceptions to the rule. Sometimes, you'll want to use the wording 'wedding' to your advantage. It can often get free upgrades or a superior service. Honeymoons, flights, hotel rooms, venues, flowers and many other suppliers may even provide you with more if you mention you're actually getting married or that you've just got married. This is something that you do later on in the negotiation, rather than up front to make sure you get the best deal.

So you're now primed on the wedding industry and ready to start working your way around their marketing ploys and tricky traps. You're a little more savvy and ready to take on the suppliers and get yourself a great deal.

Nicola Ray is the owner of Cheap-Wedding-Success.co.uk, a website dedicated to helping brides save on their wedding. With 100's of articles, tips and ideas, it's the perfect place to start planning your wedding. This article has been adapted from Negotiate Your Way To A Cheap Wedding, a 137-page eBook on wedding negotiation sold through Cheap-Wedding-Success.co.uk.

Choosing A Mother Of The Bride Dress - Pleasure Or Predicament?

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If you're the mother of the bride at an upcoming wedding, congratulations! You have a major part to play in supporting your daughter as she prepares for her big day. Being the mother of the bride (or the M.O.B., as she is sometimes known these days) is a role which calls for understanding, tact and diplomacy in many delicate areas, not least being the question of wedding attire. As well as helping your daughter to select her bridal gown, you have another tricky choice to make: finding your own mother of the bride dress.

As with most aspects of wedding planning, there are conventions that some couples wish to follow and others they will prefer to ignore. But if you know what the 'rules' are, you'll be better able to decide when you want to break them! And in most cases, the principles governing mother of the bride gowns are designed to allow her due precedence -- without overshadowing the bride herself!

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  Appropriate color. Many people feel that mother of the bride dresses should not be white or black. In the first case, of course, it's because white is traditionally the color reserved for the bride. The second rule harks back to a time when the bride's mother could signal her unhappiness at her daughter's marriage by wearing the color of mourning.
  
  While such a gesture might be thought extreme in today's world, it is still frowned upon in some quarters for the M.O.B. to wear black -- perhaps simply because it might be considered bad luck. These days, however, what's appropriate is often dictated by the style of the wedding and the bride's preference -- and in an era when evening weddings are not unusual, black might be an acceptable choice.



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  Coordinate with the mother of the groom. While it's customary for the M.O.B. to choose her dress first, it's considerate as well as prudent to liaise with the groom's mother in matters of style and color. This will at least minimize the risk of both mothers turning up to the wedding in the same outfit!



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  Complement the dresses of the bride and bridesmaids. As a member of the wedding party, the eyes of the guests will be drawn to your outfit too. Plan well ahead with the bride to decide on an age-appropriate design and color to coordinate with their styles.

As part of the build-up such a joyous event as a wedding, choosing a mother of bride dress ought to be fun. And while finding exactly the right outfit may require a considerable expense of time, energy and shoe leather, it's a task that you can enjoy in the company of your daughter or a close friend or two, if you like. After all, the wedding will be partly your day too!

Nigel Patterson is a business writer and publisher of http://Inexpensive-Weddings.com

Visit his website for tips and ideas for creating your dream wedding on a tight budget: wedding dresses, invitations, rings, cakes, wedding favors, flowers and more ...

What is a 'Mail Order Bride?'

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What does this term mean? Where does it come from? Why do dating services use this term? Let's dot our "i's" and cross our "t's" once and for all!

International marriages are very popular now. Though many people can't understand them. Sometimes they just need to "mature" for it. Nevertheless, developed communications and Internet have done their part. It has become convenient, accessible and quick to meet people from other countries. But it hasn't always been so! However, international marriages did exist. How did people meet?

Here is the version of Yale Professor of History, Howard R. Lamar:

At the early period of history of the USA, in California, the Chinese who found themselves there absolutely without women, started to organize marriages through go-betweens. The Frenchmen who found themselves in Louisiana among the English-speaking population organized marriage-mediation in a big way. The brides were brought for them from France. The women usually came with small boxes and due to these boxes they were named "casket-girls". They became well-known."

Later so-called "mercy's girls" appeared. Mercy imported girls to Wyoming, Oregon and Alaska in vans. But these potential brides turned out to be surprising. They started their businesses at the West - stores, sewing workshops, kitchens, and the marriage-intermediary didn't work out. And the opposite example. To the far west women were brought to brothels from Germany and France. Many of them were prostitutes in Europe, but in a new, big and rich country they realized that they could start a new life and they scattered, dispersed in the environment and married farmers".

It was about this time that the term "mail-order brides" appeared. Here is how the history of its origin is explained in Answers.com:

"The term probably originated during the colonial period when men traveled through various empires for financial gain. After establishing their income in a new colony they faced three choices:

- stay single,

- marry a local indigenous woman or,

- seek to have an available woman come from the metropolitan centre; or in the case of economic immigrants that came from an economically depressed region to seek employment, from their mother country.

Often these marriages were arranged by members of the immigrants family 'back home' and the relatives picked amongst available women to find one that would suit their family member thus they would negotiate with the woman before she left with her belongings (and perhaps with her children if she was a widow). Often these women were willing to travel for marriage because of the limited opportunity in their place of origin. This tradition continues amongst first generation immigrants to western countries, most particularly amongst Pakistani, Bangladeshi and East Indian males and females who wish to marry someone of similar social, economic and educational status; indeed many marriages are arranged in India and the bride and groom may not have much if any opportunity to court before the marriage ceremony is conducted.

During the twentieth century this tradition has been used for a (in some ways) similar, yet very different social phenomenon, that of a western male, usually second or third generation immigrant himself, seeking a woman from a more 'traditional' or non-western culture. For whatever reason, these men seek out women from various countries, most notably economically depressed parts of the world, such as countries in the Commonwealth of Independent States like Russia, Ukraine, Belarus and the other central Asian - stans, or from cultures where femininity is still encouraged and women are expected to take care of their husbands and engage in housekeeping, child rearing and other domestic chores».

It was in regard to the history of terms. However, international acquaintances became that popular during 1980-es. Telephone, fax, photos, catalogues.

Like some food you choose one out of thousands women, make an order, pay by a credit card and she is "coming over through Fed Ex in a big wooden crate" ;)

I don't know, guys, how effective this way was and how many positive stories can be told to advocate this way of acquaintance today. Still there are agencies that stick to this way.

HOW DO THEY WORK?
As a rule, at their sites there are thousands of women. 20-30 thousand is a norm. A huge catalogue, choose any. You can buy her contact information and correspond with her on your own, or can use the agency's service for it. The main difference of this kind of agencies from dating services like ours (and their main minus) is that women are only pages of a catalogue for them: faceless, nameless goods.

The agencies like ours work with each woman personally! We not only know her by sight, but also checked her passport information, we know if she is well or ill at the moment, if she is in the city or left on business or holiday. We know some details of her life because we often talk to her at the office. We are more than marriage go-between for a woman. We are consultants, friends and psychologists. It is normal! So we can say with confidence: we answer for each woman of our agency! Can an agency that has 20 thousand women say it?
Why then you can find our site on request "mail order brides" in search services like http://www.google.com?

Unfortunately, this term is too loved by journalists and this is why it is so popular. And often, when talking about the bride from abroad, someone uses the term "mail order brides", actually having no idea about the details of the process. So we have to use it in order than men who are interested in foreign brides get to our site.

Why "unfortunately"?

Because this term humiliates women! They find it very insulting that someone can think them to be goods that can be ordered by catalogue. The man who respects his bride will never allow himself, his relatives and friends to use this word.

This term is also very loved by American feminists. They say to American men: first you order wonderful, tender mail order brides and then we have to defend them from you! :))

So I'd like to sum up:

"Mail order brides" is the term that can mislead you, because it is a well-promoted brand. We can't send you a bride by mail, but we can acquaint you with real women who want to make a family. Feel the difference :)

Irina Chernova

I am 28 years old Russian female, working in dating field for almost 7 years and my specialty is dating articles for ChanceForlove Russian Dating Services

Wedding Flowers - Classic Choices For The Modern Bride

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Planning a wedding is like telling a story. And it is the flowers that set the tone for the way the story unfolds. By their opulence or their simplicity, they create the drama of the day. For today's bride, that story seems to be set in the past as many seek a simple, more classic look not just for their gowns, but for the flowers that will accent them. Here are a few ideas on how to choose flowers for the modern bride.

Princess Diana's long cascade of flowers caught the public's fancy at her 1981 royal wedding, but that look seems fussy and frilly by today's standards.

Now, most brides want a nosegay bouquet, often with a mixture of colors. Some brides have firmly planted ideas about which flowers to use. But for those willing to experiment, florists can create a colorful mix using flowers like calla lilies, gerbera daisies, spray roses, cymbidium orchids, stargazer lilies and cattleya orchids. Greenery often consists of ivy, huckleberry, plumosa, smilax or leatherleaf. For pastel arrangements, stephanotis and gardenias are still popular.

But as flowers quickly fade, so does their individual popularity with fickle brides. Flower choices move in cycles, and every few years, one or two types emerge as the favorites.

Lily of the valley is a good example. It's a tiny white bell-shaped flower and seems to be increasingly popular. In years past, brides chose the stargazer lilies because they went so well with colors like dark green, navy and burgundy, which were the popular colors for bridesmaid dresses. Now, brides are choosing dress colors like seafoam green, champagne, periwinkle blue and buttercup yellow. And lily of the valley is perfect for this new trend.

Jewel tones are another new favorite, giving brides a golden opportunity to highlight the themes of joy and celebration. This is a bolder, brighter look. These are flowers that come in colors like hot pink, bright yellow and deep purple. The English garden look of mixed colors will always be appealing, but some brides have completely tossed the bouquet out the window and instead opted for the stark, but elegant look of the hand-tied bouquet.

The look is simple and natural, such as a cluster of tulips wrapped with a single ribbon perhaps. You literally see just flowers and stems, with each petal touching and no greenery at all.

But bouquets are just the beginning. The florist is often responsible for the altar flowers and reception arrangements as well. Depending on the time of the wedding, morning, noon or evening, certain colors and styles may work better.

Rich and vibrant colors work better for daytime weddings, while monochromatic schemes (total white, total blue) add a soft and sophisticated touch to nighttime occasions.

And while the flowers take center stage at the actual ceremony, they often serve as a decorative backdrop at the reception for other design elements like candelabras, statuary, urns, pedestals and columns.

Finally, the expense involved can really take the bloom off the wedding experience. But a beautiful wedding doesn't have to cost a fortune.

L Hayes is a wedding professional and owner of Wedding Favors Emporium. They carry an extensive line of unique wedding favors as well as bridesmaids, groomsmen, and bridal shower gifts. For more information about wedding planning and wedding reception ideas, visit their website at: Wedding Favors Emporium.com