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Everybody loves a wedding, no one more so than the bride herself. Having a wedding budget is almost like a free pass to go shopping and spend, but for most brides this can lead to complete disaster when it comes to getting the best deal. There are several big pitfalls that brides fall for when it comes to overspending. Being aware of them will help you curb your spending and stay on budget, but more importantly it will help you stay cool and calm when you want to negotiate.
Emotional shopping
The first biggest pitfall is your own emotion. Girls are an emotional bunch. We often let our feelings and emotions dictate how we shop. We'll shop because we're happy, we'll shop because we're sad and we'll buy just because it's cute and we 'had to have it'. In each instance, we're shopping with our emotions, which can be a very dangerous thing.
For a supplier, it's easy to play to your emotions. If you're emotional, they can easily get you to spend more. They sell you the dream, which, because you're wrapped up in your emotion, you go along with it all. Before you know it, you've spent more than you bargained for.
To stay on your budget, you've got to leave your emotions at home. You need to begin to think rationally, keep your budget in mind at all times and work out how you can achieve what you want within that. Getting carried away with all the pretty things around you isn't going to help!
To go that step further and negotiate with a supplier, you've got to be calm, well-prepared and know what you can get for your money. Emotions just don't play a part in negotiation, so save them for the big day!
Lack of preparation and homework
Many brides prepare by reading magazines and talking to their other bride-to-be friends. They get ideas, share thoughts and their best 'guestimates' of what they think the price is going to be. This is probably the worst error you could make.
You'll end up with lots of different ideas, possibly conflicting ideas which will lead to confusion and possibly multiple, wasteful purchases. The rough prices you got from your (oh, so knowledgeable) friends will leave you way off your budget too.
Sure, it's great to get ideas, but let's put this into perspective. You want to stay on budget and the best way to do that is to prepare properly. You need to do this yourself and it will involve a lot of research as I outlined in Chapter 2: Preparing For Negotiation.
Accepting what suppliers say
Suppliers are generally the ones with all the experience, so you tend to put your trust in them immediately. After all they've been doing it for years and this is your first experience of planning a wedding.
It's easy to accept what they say, but don't forget that the wedding industry is adept at getting you to spend more than you have to. They'll tell you that you need more than you really do, for example, you'll find that photographers will tell you need more time than you really do to get those 'must have' shots, caterers will say you need more food for your buffet rather than catering to a smaller number and your florist may tell you that it's the done thing to have those special additional flowers.
Just because they're saying it, doesn't mean it's true. They're there to try and get you to spend more at every opportunity. So be cynical and a little mistrusting if they're offering all sorts of advice which you're not asking for.
Riding along the wedding wave
All those wedding magazines are meant to inspire you, give you creative ideas and feed your desires. They set about creating an ideal image that they want you to aspire to. And it works, year-on-year the cost of weddings is rising. But ask yourself, is it the cost of weddings rising, or is that brides are just spending more?
This is where I get really cynical, so bear with me! The wedding industry creates these ideas and ideals so you spend more money. Weddings are big business and everyone's after profit. With first-time brides having such a lot of money available to them to spend, they're onto a clear winner. They get you to spend more, on more areas of your wedding and they all benefit.
With the image they create, it's easy to get carried along the wedding wave and fall into the trap of having a 'me too' wedding. They're telling you that this is what weddings are like, but it's their image of your big day, not yours.
Get the idea of your wedding in your head, make it a clear picture and research it carefully to get ensure it works within your budget more or less. If it's more, well, then we'll just have to negotiate it!
The last pitfall is using the word 'wedding' and this one requires a little further explanation as to why the word 'wedding' really should be banned from a bride-to-be's lips...
Using the word 'wedding'
With weddings being a one-off event in people's lives, we all want the day to be special. If something goes wrong, there's no repeating it, so this really is a one-time event.
Every bride wants it to be perfect from start to finish and you'll put a lot of effort into making that way. Everything needs to be 'just so', after all, you've probably imagined this day for a long time.
But why is it that when we look for things for our wedding, that the prices just seem ludicrous? Why is that a children's party DJ is £200, but a wedding DJ is £600? A cake with three tiers is £70, but a three tier wedding cake is £300? It just doesn't seem right does it?
But let's look at this from a supplier's point of view. They see an opportunity for a premium product and market their products and services as such. Weddings are special. You want to feel special as the bride and you're willing to go out of your way to get your day 'just so'. The supplier knows this and with any kind of business, catering to these specific needs creates a premium product.
They know you want it to be special (therefore they'll add a premium). They know it's a one-time event in your life (therefore they'll add a premium). They know that you've got your heart set on their product (therefore they'll add a premium).
Creating a product that's 'special' tends to use higher quality materials or ingredients. For example, you'll find better quality fabrics in the dresses, higher quality ingredients in the cakes or a better bottle of wine on the 'wedding' menu. It's for these reasons the price is higher.
The good thing about premium products and services though is that you can negotiate what's on offer so the product comes in at a price that's acceptable to your budget. You can find out more about this later on.
Unfortunately, not all wedding services are premium and there are plenty of scoundrels out there offering a supposedly better 'wedding' product, where in fact, they're riding off the back of the 'wedding' industry. Watch out for them!
Interestingly, if you tackle suppliers by not mentioning the word 'wedding' when you're asking for quotes, you'll often be given a different price altogether. You're not asking for anything 'special' from them, therefore you don't get that 'premium' price. So my first tip would be to avoid saying that you're having a wedding and see how much you can save.
Those that certainly don't need to know that you're having a wedding are the cake maker, your DJ or band, caterer and transport.
There are of course, exceptions to the rule. Sometimes, you'll want to use the wording 'wedding' to your advantage. It can often get free upgrades or a superior service. Honeymoons, flights, hotel rooms, venues, flowers and many other suppliers may even provide you with more if you mention you're actually getting married or that you've just got married. This is something that you do later on in the negotiation, rather than up front to make sure you get the best deal.
So you're now primed on the wedding industry and ready to start working your way around their marketing ploys and tricky traps. You're a little more savvy and ready to take on the suppliers and get yourself a great deal.
Nicola Ray is the owner of Cheap-Wedding-Success.co.uk, a website dedicated to helping brides save on their wedding. With 100's of articles, tips and ideas, it's the perfect place to start planning your wedding. This article has been adapted from Negotiate Your Way To A Cheap Wedding, a 137-page eBook on wedding negotiation sold through Cheap-Wedding-Success.co.uk.
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