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Before the big day, the wedding, there are usually parties held in celebration of the bride. First, determine what type of party (or parties) you'd like to have and then, if necessary, plan a theme. Be sure to keep in mind that the bride and/or her bridesmaids may have financial or time constraints. Nothing is more stressful than worrying about whether or not you can afford all the festivities, or if your schedule can allow them.
Ideally, you should choose one or two and the planners should discuss them with the other parties involved. Whatever decisions are made, ensure that everyone feels comfortable with the arrangements and that nobody feels a sense of obligation to reciprocate. That is, if the bridesmaids hold a luncheon, the bride should not feel duty-bound to also hold a luncheon if her wedding budget won't allow it. Remember that this is a happy time, a celebratory time, and additional strain must be avoided.
Once you've decided a budget and taken dates and times into consideration, there are several parties to choose from:
Luncheon given by the bridesmaids to honor the bride
This party is usually brunch or a luncheon. The best day for it, is the day of shopping for bridesmaids dresses, though any day that suits everyone's schedule will work as well. No gifts are given but all the bridesmaids make toasts to wish the bride happiness in her new life. The mothers of the bride and groom are invited to this event, in which case, they will also make toasts to the bride.
Luncheon given by the bride to honor the bridesmaids
This is usually given the day of the final fitting, a few days before the wedding. While this may be breakfast, lunch or dinner, the latter may be the best choice so that nobody is worried of feeling overfull while being fitted. It is traditional for the bride to give each of her bridesmaids a small gift - a bracelet or earrings to wear on the wedding day - but if this isn't cost effective, then small handmade gifts are appropriate.
Luncheon given by the mother-in-law
This one is hosted by the groom's mother, in her home, and while the bride and her mother are both invited, the hostess has the option of inviting either the bridesmaids or matrons (grandmothers, great-grandmothers) of both families. Gifts are not given at this party.
The bridal shower
This is the party given to help a new bride establish her home. For younger women who may still be living with their parents, or who haven't been on their own very long, the gifts are usually geared toward setting up her household. Examples are kitchen utensils, linens, towels, etc. For older women, who perhaps don't need the same types of gifts, themed parties work best. For example, try holding a "Recipe Party" where each guest donates a favorite recipe and the ingredients necessary to make the dish. Or make it a "Pampered Princess Party" where all the gifts are "indulgent." Chocolates, bubble bath, and candles are good gifts, as are gift certificates for a massage or a manicure.
The bachelorette party
The maid of honor is responsible for organizing this party. Generally, this is a non-gift party, but has increasingly become a somewhat "raunchy" event in that the bride receives gifts of lingerie and other such "intimate" gifts and toys. It is usually held in a bar or series of bars or, if in someone's home, exotic dancers are hired. While this type of party seems to be quite popular, many brides would prefer not to have one. Although some will go along with it for the sake of their friends, most such women, deeply in love enough to marry their beloved, don't want or need "one last wild night." The bridesmaids who arrange these parties are likely to enjoy them far more than the bride, who is supposed to be the one being honored. Before planning such an event, make sure it's what the bride wants. If she says no to it, respect her decision and plan a luncheon instead.
The pajama party
These are gaining popularity with younger women, especially when conforming to traditional protocols seems too stuffy for the times, or they just don't suit the bride's personality. This party is given by either the bride or the maid of honor. It begins with "chick flicks" that have a love or wedding theme. Pajamas are worn and standard pajama party fare is served, i.e., potato chips, popcorn, and pizza; though wine or coolers usually replace the soda pop of childhood parties. Come prepared with curling irons, nail polish, makeup, CDs of good dance music, and fashion magazines. If the bride hosts the party, the maid of honor should stay behind to help with clean-up in the morning. Gifts aren't usually given, but if they will be at this party, the presents should be small, simple items, such as makeup or nail polish.
Any or all of these parties are open to modifications. For example, more and more couples are having shared parties: the bachelor/bachelorette party includes the bride and groom, and all their friends; and the bridal shower is now the "bride and groom shower." At this party, men and women attend, and the gifts are not only items for the house, but the garage and garden too.
Keep budgets, schedules, and the bride's personality (and groom's if applicable) in mind when planning any event, and feel free to be creative. Remember, this is a time of celebration and that above all, the bride should feel as stress-free as possible. If necessary, and if your budget allows it, hire caterers; or, if the best thing would be to forego all the pre-parties, then let go of the guilt and instead, prepare to have a great time at the wedding. After all, that's the one "party" the bride is most excited about anyway.
This article has been submitted in affiliation with http://www.Prye.Com/ which is a site for Wedding Invitations. Kim-Marie is a book editor and writer; stop by and visit her portfolio at: Kim-Marie on Writing.Com.
