Are You a Reasonable Bride Or a Bridezilla?

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Now I don't think that any woman sets out to be a bridezilla when she starts planning her wedding. In most cases, a very excited bride just gets so caught up in creating the "perfect" day that she forgets about treating people kindly... sometimes with pretty ugly results. See where you stand, by learning what sets a reasonable bride apart from a bridezilla.

Most brides will want to invite a few of their closest friends to be bridesmaids in their weddings. So far, so good. However, it is in the area of bridesmaids where so many brides seem to turn into controlling bridezillas who care more about appearances than friendship. A big question is how much can you demand of your bridesmaids in terms of their attire, hair, and so on before crossing a line into becoming a dictator?

In general, requesting that your attendants wear similar or even identical bridesmaid dresses and sets of bridesmaid jewelry is considered to be standard and reasonable (although given a choice your bridesmaids would probably prefer to wear dresses and bridesmaid jewelry sets which are complementary but not matchy-matchy). The line between reasonable and demanding gets crossed somewhere around telling your bridesmaids exactly how to wear their hair or what color to paint their nails. If you have even for a second considered telling a bridesmaid to grow out her hair for your wedding so she can wear it in an updo, you are definitely in bridezilla territory.

Murphy's Law states that if something can go wrong it will, and it is the snafus and disappointments that tend to either bring out the best or worst in a bride. How you handle the things which do not turn out exactly as desired will show you to be a gracious and cool woman who can roll with life's ups and downs, or a petty person who throws a fit over every little disappointment. Obviously, it would be better to be thought of as gracious! So if the florist brings your bouquet to the ceremony and you discover that the roses are more ivory than cream, do you take a deep breath and try to focus on how pretty the bouquet is, even if it is not exactly what you expected? Or do you scream that the bouquet is all wrong, tell the florist she has ruined your wedding, and throw the flowers in her face? I think we all know which action is reasonable and which is 100% bridezilla!

Bridezillas also tend to fall into the trap of referring to the wedding as my day. And just where does that leave the groom? Without a doubt, the wedding day is more special and emotional to the bride than anyone else (which is not to say that the marriage means more to the bride than the groom, just the actual wedding); that does not mean that it is all about her. It is not unreasonable to talk about "my wedding day" just as much as "our wedding day" (unless you are speaking to the groom), but when a woman starts declaring that it is my day, it really does imply that she thinks the wedding is all about her. Not only that, but it is usually used as an excuse for thoughtless or even rude behavior, as in "Who cares if anyone else has a good time, because it's my day!".

If you saw glimpses of yourself in any of the bridezilla examples, it is not too late to pull yourself back from the dark side. Simply remind yourself at every turn that a wedding is about people, not perfection, and that the feelings of all involved should be considered. Any bride who can do that will earn herself the reputation of a perfectly reasonable and truly lovely bride.

Laura helps brides with their wedding plans by offering advice on selecting bridesmaid jewelry, reception ideas and other aspects of planning a wedding. Visit us today at http://silverlandjewelry.com/ and receive free shipping on your jewelry order over $99.

Bridezilla Bride!?

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Nobody, I repeat nobody likes a bridezilla bride. If you feel this feeling taking hold of your higher thinking processes fight it! Fight it will every fiber of your being, if you don't your friends may never forgive you. I am speaking, from experience of my close friend. She has never been a bride, but often been a bridesmaid. You know what they say; always a bridesmaid, never a bride but I keep my hopes up. But back to the bridezilla thing, it is too easy for the bride to get carried away and wrapped up in all of the planning. And oftentimes if she has a wedding planner she will be inclined to take all of this planners words as gospel. This unfortunately often hurts the bridesmaid's chances of looking pretty during the ceremony. I don't know what it is with ugly bridesmaid dresses but they seem to be the popular thing to choose among brides. This is one wedding tradition that does not seem to be in any danger of being lost, like ever.

Be nice to your bridesmaids, they are there to support you on your special day, they don't deserve to have to wear ugly plum wedding dresses. Sorry that plum dress thing was a flashback. Let your bridesmaids wear a pretty color like soft pink or blue, perhaps even a gorgeous red or green, for the love of all that's holy, anything but plum! Just kidding plum bridesmaid dresses can actually look quite flattering on many women and this color does go extremely well with all of the flower arrangements that will be decorating the reception hall and the altar. Choosing the color of your bridesmaid dresses is one of the most important decisions that you will make about your wedding. These dresses will be highlighting your fabulous wedding gown and that is why it is so important that you choose the right color. You need the bridesmaid dresses to match your gown but yet not look like it at all. This is where things can get tricky. See, you need the dresses to compliment each other while being a completely different color and style. How on earth?!? Sounds impossible right? It isn't though, it can be done easily. Just ask for some help at the boutique from which you are purchasing your wedding gown. They should know all of the best tips and tricks.

Again I am going to admonish you to be kind to your bridesmaids. Let them have at least some say in the bridesmaid dresses, they are paying for them and they have to wear them, it is the least that you can do. It really is. Consider what colors would go best with their particular skin tones. Your bridesmaids do not have to wear all the same color although this is the most common practice. One of the best ideas is to have all of the bridesmaid dresses the same color but have the styles vary slightly. This way each bridesmaid will have her own individual bridesmaid dress. They do not have to be too different, just different enough that it showcases and highlights her own unique curves and attributes. This my dear, dear bride is the kind thing to do. And this way the bridesmaids might even get to wear their expensive dresses again someday. Bonus! Wow small things like this matter a lot and you got to learn a lot about the things that make your wedding a memorable day not just for you but for everyone around you.

The best resource for knowing everything about weddings right from dresses to wedding rings you should visit the following website http://www.weddings-online.com/ This article was coauthored by my friend TP. There are some good resources for wedding decorations and about honeymoon destinations in the website making a good read about weddings.

Bridezilla Syndrome - You May Be A Bridezilla If...

The bridezilla syndrom has seemingly got the best of many brides today. What are the symptoms to look out for when a bride is en route to becoming a bridezilla?

1. She will complain more than give thanks.

This sadly is a symptom of many unhappy people, but it is more visible in a bride-to-be. Brides have to deal with a lot of details when preparing a wedding. If they are not careful they can forget to be thankful for the people helping them in the process.

Even if a bride is doing it all alone, that is no reason to be unthankful. Being overwhelmed is never fun, but being thankful gets more done. Complaining is never gaining.

2. She shouts unnecessarily.

Loud, boisterous, and unruly the bride-to-be who shouts unnecessarily will become a bridezilla quickly. Noise pollution is never pleasant. Shouting causes people to hate and resist helping you. Bridezillas need friends not enemies. Help them get a grip and speak gently.

3. She is all stressed up with nowhere to go.

Stress is the quickest way to deplete your energy. Bride's who freak out all the time will not only prematurely age and be inwardly miserable, but they will be also branded a bridezilla.

4. She cannot manage her emotions well.

Poor emotional management weighs heavily on a person individually, but it also hinders their relational capacity. Unchecked emotions gone awry will lead to irrational reactions that hurt those we most love. This perpetuates emotional wear and tear, recycling more emotional implosion and outbursts.

5. She is a perfectionist.

A perfectionist cannot be happy with a good effort, neither an excellent performance. She incessantly scrutinizes herself beyond reason, which leads to utter exhaustion. Such a person needs to lighten up and simply live.

6. She is a control freak.

A control freak has to always hover over everyone to make sure everything is done just right. According to her standards, nobody can do anything as she does. This gives her a sense of importance. Her fragile self-esteem and poor self-image necessitates that she degrade others performance so she can exalt her own and continually be needed.

7. She is very demanding.

Demanding people are usually very self-righteous and proud. They are quick to belittle others and boss people around. Such a quality immediately ruins any woman's ability to elegantly be a lady. Pushy brides qualify for the bridezilla designation for their demanding nature.

8. She is impatient and impetuous.

Impatient and impetuous people easily anger those who would have happily helped them. Because they are easily annoyed and unable to wait for good things, they attract poor service and bad attitudes.

Remember a cake out of the oven half-baked doesn't taste good, neither does it fully rise. If you want quality people and products, practice patience.

9. She is demeaning and disrespectful.

When you demean and disrespect someone you create an enemy immediately. Even if it is not outwardly obvious, inwardly and subconsciously he who you've disrespected will naturally shun you. Brides who bulldoze over everyone en route to getting what they want are sure to experience backlash and blowback in the end. Bridezillas always reap what they sow and the disrespect they endear does eventually show.

10. She worries and cries often.

Worry is interest paid in advance on something you may never own. Ninety percent of all that we worry about never occurs anyhow. Brides who endlessly worry about something going wrong subconsciously program themselves to fulfill their own internal imagery, prophecy, and neurological programming.

Crying is something anyone with a heart does. There is nothing wrong with it whatsoever. We should empathize and show compassion when someone is suffering. Crying non-stop however is a reason for concern. When a bride has gone over the edge and stepped off the cliff emotionally, psychological counseling and Pastoral ministry is recommended.

Fear can be overcome. Fear is self-centered. Love is selfless. Perfect love casts out fear. Be rooted and grounded in love, by which you can conquer any fear.

These are some subtle symptoms of a bride being bombarded with the bridezilla syndrome. Family and friends take courage as your bride (or bridezilla) desperately needs you.

Don't hesitate to gently speak a word of confrontation to deal with your bride's situation. You can never correct what you refuse to confront. Nevertheless use tact, tenderness, and gentleness. Like everyone, your bride simply seeks love and happiness.

Paul Davis is a wedding minister who officiates marriage ceremonies and vow renewals. Paul has been in ministry for over 15 years, blessing people around the world. He has traveled to over 50 countries and 6 continents having a worldwide impact.

As a relational coach, Paul's compassion for people and passion for transformation makes him very successful. His depth, understanding, experiential wisdom, and disarming sense of humor makes Paul a personal favorite of many couples. Highly celebrated and sought after, Paul has authored several books including Breakthrough for a Broken Heart and Are You Ready for True Love?

Paul’s organization Dream-Maker Ministries is making a difference throughout the world building dreams, breaking limitations, and reviving nations. Paul’s interpersonal and unprecedented experience engineering breakthroughs for individuals and organizations is revolutionary.

Contact Paul to officiate your wedding and more!
RevivingNations@yahoo.com
407-284-1705; 407-967-7553

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