Toast to the Bride

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If you have a wedding to attend in the near future and need to prepare a toast to the bride, then you need to know what it takes to do a good job. Successful toasts seem so easy to do, but you won't realize what it takes to make a public performance until you put the toast together.

You'll have to prepare, practice, and overcome nerves to do a great job. In the end, it's all about being sincere, relaxed and having fun. A wedding is something to celebrate - and this is your chance to add to the party.

You might be a friend or you might be a family member - as long as you're close to the bride, you'll most likely have a lot to share with others in your toast. A toast might be an intimidating task if you're not a great writer or speaker, but preparation will easily allow you to accomplish the job well.

A toast can last anywhere from 10 seconds to 2 minutes. If you are very close to the bride, then you might want to take a bit more time to reflect on the past before transitioning to the future. On the other hand, sometimes the best toasts are short and sweet.

For a long toast, all you need to do is follow these steps:

1. Choose Your Tone: Before you start writing your toast out, figure on whether you want the toast to be serious, humorous, or sentimental. How do you choose which is right? You'll have to consider your personality as well as what kind of relationship you have with the bride. If you're a funny person but don't have a close relationship with the bride then humour might not be fully understood by guests. If you're going to do an extremely sentimental toast, then make sure that it is something the bride and perhaps a few others will understand as a touching speech.

2. Choose Your Topic: Think about your relationship with the bride and pick something to talk about that is important to you. When people try to cover too many emotions or events in a toast, it can cause the minds of guests to drift. By focusing on one attribute or another, your toast will be easier to understand and much more effective.

3. Include Stories: If there is a story that works with what you're saying, then you should include it in your toast. Stories add a depth that is difficult to match in any other way. By recalling a favourite story of the bride, it will help others see how special of a relationship you had with her and show a side of the woman that others might not have known before.

4. Add Some Memories: Memories in point form can also be an effective way of building the bond between you and the bride, shining a light on her personality. When you bring memories up, keep it short and sweet so that you don't make others feel out of the loop.

5. Describe Your Hopes for Her: This is a very important part of the toast. It is here that you'll transition from the past to the future. By telling the bride your hopes for her future, you will show that you really care about her well being.

6. List Special Attributes: By listing a few attributes that make the bride a good wife, you'll make her feel special, flatter the groom and convey a sense of confidence in her abilities.

7. Wish the Bride and Groom Good Luck: No toast is complete without wishing the couple the best of luck for their future.

If you're planning a shorter toast, you might want to focus more on the future alone. Try not to be too cliché or general. If you can make your toast specific, it will be much more meaningful to all. Some topics that work well include love, happiness, growing up, marriage, and laughter.

When giving your toast, it's important to speak clearly and use notes if needed. If you want to get your message across effectively, then be confident about the words that you are saying. Some people are natural public speakers and others get nervous - just make sure that you practice your speech often so that it flows comfortably during your performance without any nervous pauses (ex. ummm, ahhh, etc).

Things to Avoid:

" Stories about Old Relationships: By telling stories about past relationships, all you're going to do is make people uncomfortable or upset. Don't mention old relationships at all. Focus on the relationship that matters.

" Humiliating Stories: There's a difference between funny stories and humiliating ones. Always make sure that your story won't embarrass anybody or draw any unwanted reactions.

" Drinking Too Much: Drinking might loosen you up a bit, but drinking too much will make you slur your words - and make a fool of yourself.

" Don't Read The Whole Thing: While you might to look down to refer to your notes, don't read everything word for word. Instead, try focusing on the bride to make the message more personal.

" Don't Panic: If you get lost for words and don't know what to do, don't panic. Just finish off with a simple and honest "congratulations." There's nothing wrong with ending simply.

If you're not sure how your toast sounds to others, be open to getting a friend's opinion and perspective. Read your toast over with somebody else present or have them read it and offer a critique. It's always tough to know how your toast might be received by others; it's good to get a second opinion.

The toast to the bride is a very special moment. Make sure to keep the bride as the focus of your story and always highlight her in your toast before congratulating her and wishing her well. If you are sincere about what you have to say, then it's impossible to go wrong.

Lastly, make sure that you have fun giving your toast. Your expressions will always impact the way your speech is received by others. Good luck!

David Beart is owner of the Professors House [http://www.professorshouse.com], a site dedicated to family, wedding information [http://www.professorshouse.com/family/relationships/relationships-weddings.aspx], pets, and household problems.